Shub-Niggurath's Blog

Flu 4.0 Upgrade

2011-11-26T18:45:00.001+01:00

These feeble humans are really crazy, or My Favourite Nyarly is once more at work.

And this is a good achievement!

Last time a sickness wiped out 50% of a feeble human population, it was in the middle ages, the Black Death.

Then the Spanish Flu.

Feeble humans knew from some times there would be a pandemic, and played with the fear of it.

Now, as it didn't come quick enough, they are engineering it! We, The Great Ol'Ones, never saw a race so eager to die!
My only fear, now, it's that We may lack of sacrificed human flesh and souls before The Stars are Right.

But well... We sure will enjoy the show!

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

2011-11-19T16:31:00.001+01:00

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

Once more, reviews, as I have some Aeons to read, these days...

Spoiler: These are two stories more "polars" (French for Detective Story) than fantasy or horror. No Tentacled fellows here.

But, despite having no homage to Us, The Great Ol'Ones, these two short stories are a sweetness for a thriller loving reader, even voracious, to swallow.

Let's sum them up:
- A Pleasure To Burn: adventures could happen to any fuckin' tabloid hunter. Even meet the ghost of her prey. Rare to read such a complete psychology description of characters in so few pages. It calls for at least a sequel, better many of them.
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love: just a shot, it's enough to make a good story. Some hints could provide a looong sequel, full of sorcery and even some Tentacles. But the Author didn't need any kind of YogSothotheries. If some of you remember "Angel Heart", you may catch it, without needing a seated Devil.

These are only short samples of these to writing feeble humans. They have more in the pipe:
- A Pleasure To Burn, by David Bain
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love, by E. R. White, Jr.

These two guys brains deserve to be preserved in Fungi From Yuggoths Cylinders!

Berlusconi Out

2011-11-13T19:13:00.001+01:00

Please, feeble humans, don't break My Nyarly's favorite puppet toy. He's inconsolable.
I agree, He played a bit too heavily with this one, and its country.

But, He didn't innovate much:
- Mafia was here for several centuries. Ok, Nyarly had some puppets in this venerable institution from the start...
- Bunga Bunga wasn't new, it was a favorite sport at least since the Rome emperors era. Sure, I had My share in this, at the time...
- Finance ? Do you think your petty country, even your petty continent, could wrestle with the Behemoths We use for Our monopoly games ?

So you see, feeble humans, you don't have any reason to hurt this puppet in particular. Switch on your TV, and go fetch the one your media show to your wrath. After Gaddafi, El Hassad.

And let Us play with Our toys.

Don't worry, he'll be back soon for your pleasure.

Gates of Yog Sothoth

2011-11-12T12:31:00.001+01:00

Feeble humans, you must know about the Gates guarded by Yog Sothoth.
Those few of you who read the Books, and survived, know these Gates are leading to other Dimensions and far away Spaces.
But none among you understood what these Gates really are, and where They are.
Most of you imagine They are far away, out of reach for you, terrestrial worms.

Fools you are. Yog Sothoth is the Key, Yog Sothoth is the Gate, Yog Sothoth is the Guardian of the Gates.
Which terrestrian location has more Gates than any other ?
My Preferred Lover, Nyarlathotep, told you how to build them, for your demise and your torment, but you didn't understand and love them.
They are near you, They will bring your doom, and you open and close Them daily.

Soon, you won't be able to close Them anymore.

They are there, under your scummy palms, under your dirty keyboards, right in the guts of your so loved devices.

Your designers and engineers are so proud of their work. These fools don't feel the Will of Nyarlathotep in their petty minds.

Expect some mishap with the next ones you'll buy, so shiny, so powerful.

You didn't go to the Gates, the Gates are going to you. The Lurker on the Threshold will catch you soon.

WWI Celebration

2011-11-11T17:41:00.001+01:00

They were told they'll fight for their nations
They were told it would be easy
War in Summer could only be happy
They went with flowers stuck in their guns
Promising their brides they would soon be back for the wedding
Only a matter of days or weeks at worst.

It lasted more than four years.
Many were killed, the other came back with scars in their flesh or in their mind
And missing limbs
And Whippoorwills took their spirit meal up to being obese.

First Winter, Ithaqua took His first, as their clothes weren't suited.
Weapons did the rest
And Spanish Flu afterward.

And as the Last of the Last, it missed the point.
Nyarlathotep barely needed to push those feeble humans killing each other.

They were told they'll fight for their nations
But the profit was for weapons companies.

What a wonder for Us, The Great Ol'Ones!

Shoggoths Rising!

2011-11-07T12:11:00.001+01:00

Doom is near at last, feeble humans!

You started the global warming (well, My lover Nyarly pushed you a bit).
And now, it's running on its own.
Nothing will stop it, now.

Don't worry, feeble humans, you'll never be cold anymore.
Shoggoths will provide you the warmth you like so much in winter.

And more than you can stand.

By the way, you won't need cosmetics, neither. Not a bad thing these days, with your economic hardships.

Easy as acid licking by a Shoggoth won't let much skin on your bones!

Earthquakes to come

2011-11-06T16:14:00.001+01:00

I told you so.
Shudde M'ell was really upset our G20 taking place in submediterranean waters.
He doesn't like water.

So now this

And surely more to come. Elsewhere. No feeble human science can predict.

G20: Conclusion

2011-11-05T19:28:00.000+01:00

So long, European Democracy...
... And thanks for all the ruins.

Finally, the Greek people's opinion won't count.
After the Greek, the Latin. We're back in old good times.
The Barbarians will soon sweep the ol'continent.
And no Unique God to save the day, this time!

To compensate the failure of the feeble humans G20, Ours was a tremendous success.
New plans and plots.
Doom is at end for you, insects!

Stay tuned as We, The Great Ol'Ones won't sleep long, now. Some of you already feel the grip of Our tentacles!

G20 Screwed!

2011-11-03T15:06:00.000+01:00

Opening The Great Ol'Ones G20, Our Great Sultan Azathoth began his speech praising each of My Youths, INDIVIDUALY: "I hope you'll look more like Your Mother than like Your Father".

As you love so-called "super-computers", feeble humans, I let you compute how many eaons this allocution will last!

So don't expect more solutions from this G20 than for the feeble humans'!

That's the issue of having such an Idiot God as master of ceremony...

G20 Boycott!

2011-11-03T07:20:00.001+01:00

Shudde M'ell and His Cthonians have just announced they will boycott our Great Ol'Ones' G20.

Well... The Organization made a mistake, when choosing the location: under the water in front of Cannes. Doh!

Be sure some earthquake will happen soon as fair retaliations.

Economic Crisis: The Solution

2011-11-02T20:06:00.001+01:00

Crisis in Europe, and soon the world economy will be in ruin...
Seven billion feeble human, a nightmare to nourish...
Stock markets plummeted...
G20 won't help...

Fortunately for you, feeble humans, I have a solution!

It's time for Me to start a new business, so here is an appeal to all feeble human males:
Give Me your semen!
I need it to produce the biggest bunch of Youths ever!

Where to do your gift ? Simple: come to the darkest woods in your vicinity, My Youths and some Shoggoths entirely devoted to My Service are always lurking there, and will gracefully receive it.

Between, prepare to let part or whole of your feeble flesh, too.
But, hey ? That is a small price to pay to restore your crumbling economy, isn't it ?

Imagine your world freed from your filthy presence, no more food or job problems. Only My Youths roaming, copulating, and feeding.
And don't worry, obesity will never be a problem for them!

Moreover, there will be real benefits:
- No more global warming. Except when We invite Our cousin Cthugha from Fomalhaut.
- More CO2 eating forests. You can win from bonus on carbon market, err... which market ?
- Fostering Shoggoths is a wonder for petroleum prospection. Well... no cars anymore, also, but it's the favourite drink of Many of Us. The next soda killer.
- No more real estate crisis.
- Inflation ? You need currencies for that.
Etc.

The only loser will be the weapon industry, as We, The Great Ol'Ones, don't need any weapons.

So come back to reason, feeble humans, and before leaving this world, do something useful, once in your petty live!

G20 ?

2011-11-01T22:48:00.001+01:00

Oh! I almost forgot this.

There's an underground summit, too. You know ? Near the official one, just below the tide limit of Cannes beaches, where no camera nor starlett would dare to put a limb (or lose it in action).

Just time to pack, and I'll be there with all My favourite Great Ol'Lovers!

Prepare for wonderous outcome!

She's Got The Jack!

2011-11-01T14:39:00.000+01:00

Made some Lanterns yesterday, with real feeble humans heads. Pumpkins are for weenies!

And no, I won't post pictures here. To see them you'll have to come to one of My dwellings in the dark woods of your neighbourhood.
Come, come, feeble humans!

By the way...
Special news break for Europeans: please hurry, I'm not fond of skinny meat.
As it seems your old place is about to become a crumbling desert, and the survivors forced to work day and night in Chinese labor camps, your obesity problems will be solved soon.
Fortunately, Americans still have some money to be stuffed in fast foods, and even if they fall, others will take the place, too.

Irony striked again, the craddle of your civilization is pushing you in the pit.
But well... Parthenon was a ruin for some millenia, already. What did you expect of that ?

Samhain ?

2011-10-30T21:38:00.000+01:00

Wonder what I, The Great Goat of your blackest nightmares I'm about to do for this year's Samhain Festival ?

Err... Well... Nothing more than the other days, you silly! Don't you think there are already enough ordeal creeping your feeble world ?

Too much occupied resting and reading these days...
Books about management, finally understood delegation is the key, and you are evidently fully empowered, feeble humans, killing your siblings, and even posting gory videos and pictures of the mess, as you did with your Gaddafi. Next El Assad ?

What a wonder to just look and only inspire. While copulating with My Nyarly, doggy style, so We can Both watch the screens and laugh and scream in Cosmic pleasure!

And some leisure reading of course
Funny how "The Face in the Hill" reminds Me of something... But what ? You'll know it too soon enough for your sanity, you, feeble human wreck!

Shameless Advertising

2011-10-16T01:20:00.000+02:00

Once for all (or not!), here is a book review. Or more precisely a piece of: The New Death and others.

You can get this here or here.
The Author, James Hutchings, seems rather gifted with Words.

Beware, this is Old Stuff as We like it, so you, feeble humans, may not appreciate, or understand. Silly you are!

Old stuff like the farthest memories of some Creators, when they didn't even envision the slightest tentacles...
Though wrapped in modern stenza.

And some... What do you call this ? Humor ? We don't fully understand how you can lough, so miserable you are, feeble underthings.
For what you call "amusement", let's quote some parts of this Everlasting Fire:
"...featuring inspirational quotes from such paragons of wickedness as Jack the Ripper, Tom Cruise, and people who put comments on YouTube."
"By the cloven hooves of Oprah..."
"Sometimes they would stay inside and watch TV; a comedy like Fiends or the game show Who Wants to Boil A Millionaire?"
"Often they would go to a McDonald's (the only restaurant in Hell)."
"...looking up at the moonlight streaming through the hole in Ozzy Osbourne's back yard."
"They gave each other their hearts, as well as several others."

I guess H.P. Lovecraft would have praised these pikes of humor, or despised them.
Or maybe the Author meant this to be a romance ?

Though I utterly crushed My favorite priest from his inside, for trying to push this on line without My Will, and calling Me names, I must admit this mortal stuff gave me a grin. So I allowed this post to be.

Feeble humans, you should really read this to ease a bit the sufferance We prepare for you...

And By The Way...

2011-10-09T14:15:00.001+02:00

Your back-from-the-dead CEO will remind all his previous life credentials and business & tech visions.

A Recipe for Apple

2011-10-09T13:38:00.000+02:00

As you may know, the problem for the Apple Company will be to replace Steve Jobs. Why not simply call him back from the dead ?

Some of you may have read the recipes I published some time ago. Here's the one for this case.

First: ensure that he will be buried intact, and not cremated.

1 - Get his corpse. Could be better after the funeral. Some specialists are available to do that nightly and secretly for a moderate price. Another option could be to replace the corpse before the funeral, but past events shew it's not the best solution, except if you prevent the family to look at the corpse during the ceremony.

2 - Clean up the corpse. There must remain no other matter than the person you want to get back: beware of parasits that could be already shewing the flesh. Remove also all protheses and foreign stuff not part of the original biology of the dead.

3 - Place the corpse in a large enough recipient with pure water to boil it, for example a big cauldron; this recipient must be trated so the boiled content won't stick to it. Bones can be broken to fit in, the corpse integrity has no importance as long as all its element are in the recipient.

4 - Boil it during several hours, adding some dissolvant (but not acid), gum and honey (as done for Egyptian mummies) will help. Ensure there remains enough water all along the process.

5 - When the corpse is liquid and bones supple, let the fire go down.

6 - Refill the recipient with water. And revive the fire.

7 - Let boil at full heat until no liquid remains, and more important, until the bones and teeth are reduced. Refill with water and fuel the fire until it's done.

8 - At the end, you must obtain a pure white crystalish matter remaining in the recipient.

9 - Move this matter to a crystal mortar and reduce it in powder. Be sure you don't lose any part in the process.

10 - You now have the Essential Salts of the dead. Ready to being to call back to life with the words of power:

Y'AI 'NG'NGAH,

YOG-SOTHOTH

H'EE-L'GEB

F'AI THRODOG

UAAAH

11 - Optional: if you don't have full use of the subject, you can send him back to his Essential Salts state:

OGTHROD AI'F

GEB'L-EE'H

YOG-SOTHOTH

'NGAH'NG AI'Y

ZHRO

This can be done as many time as you need.

Before calling back a dead, some precautions must be taken. Even if the subject was not a wizard (be especially careful with those!), some mishap can come, the most frequent one being the recalled too traumatised to keep his sanity.

So be sure to have some sturdy fellows ready to master the subject and bind him if necessary, or havock may happen.

In case you have to kill him before use, you can restart the process of getting his Essential Salts, provided he remains in the needed conditions as before his first passing.

One last thing: when brought back to life with this process, the person may live indefinitely and can be disposed of only by violent means or be killed by accident.

Thus, with reasonable precautions, Apple would never have to worry again about replacing its leader.

The legal situation may be complicated, but this company doesn't lack lawyers to solve that. I advice discretion, though. The best way to manage this kind of situation being keeping the resurrected subject behind the scene, and placing a puppet man on the mediatic front. Tim Cook seems a good choice.

This trick worked well in Russia during the Soviet era and after, nobody ever suspected their policies had so a Rasputin spirit. Since the latest change of regime, they even added some humor when choosing the new puppet, Putin without the "Ras".

So now the question is: how many Apple engineers do you need to boil a cadaver until obtaining its Essential Salts ?

Rotten Apple

2011-10-08T23:00:00.000+02:00

Steve is gone.

He could have been one of My prefered Lover Nyarly's avatars or puppets, except he wasn't.

He was the purest instance of best and worst product this feeble human race is capable to engender once every several centuries, at the most.
The previous one, was... Napoleon I ? And he wasn't even "working" in the same domain...

Now the problem will be for his company, Apple, to find a proper replacement. All the long of its short history, this company went well when Steve was here, and bad when he wasn't.
And I doubt a Napoleon would be interested in making the world better with pocket electronics.

Finding a genius, gifted evangelist, and complete asshole like this guy won't be possible before one century or two.

See you in the Shoggoths Pits, dude.

Back From Holidays

2011-09-17T15:43:00.000+02:00

Or was it holidays ?

Visited this desert country making the news for some months. Libya.
Had to mourn one of My dear Nyarly avatars, who acted this killed rebel general Younes.

Don't understand these rebels, do they think to escape toil, death and tears by dispatching only one Nyarly avatar ?

By the way, their puppet colonel was one of the most clownish invention of My favorite Lover!
But He's rather childish you know, letting down His toys immediately after He got them.

What ? This one lasted more than 40 years ? You know, feeble humans, We don't have the same timescale, We Great Ol'Ones. You'll never understand that, you silly puppets overthrowers!
You'll never get rid of what animates your throllish leaders you so love to hate, be it Us or even some of you!

Try to catch a soul after its corpse died, only to be far late after Whippoorwills!

So I went to this bare country, empty of forests, and fool of silly and scummy bad asses.

What a laugh! Never before did I see so a bunch of incapable. Those rebels did more harm to their fellows than to their ennemy. No wonder the real job in Tripoli was done by foreign Sardaukars, err... Special Forces, and some Deep Ones on the coast!

Only the westerners won't get much petroleum there... And this will bring more havock!

Bright perspective for Us, Great Ol'Ones, despite being bad soldiers, this people is much skilled in human sacrifices!

Now, I've got some gardening in My beloved forests. My latest stock of Youths did a mess in My absence. Need to clean this up for next Samhain. This year"s will be bloody and full of Grace!

Dark Pools

2011-07-27T17:01:00.001+02:00

Events have a weird way to collide, sometimes. Even surprising Us, The Great Ol'Ones.

While traveling to lay My Eggs in the most lovely places this small world counts, I had time to catch some news of the financial planet.
I wonder no more why My favorite Lover, Nyarly didn't show up to My latest orgies. He's at work!

The next crisis is already on its way, and it will be more deadly than the previous ones. 2000, 2007, even 1929 will be relegated in the dwarves of economics history.

You feeble humans, will be focused on some petty wars for a time, or on these Antisec clowns trying to wreack havoc Paypal.

Real Nemesis is coming unattended, though. It's called Dark Pools. I recognize My Ol'Dear Nyarlathotep here, never acting openly, only giving good advices to His puppets.

My next generation of Youths won't have much effort to do for getting Their food, Feeble humans cities will be empty soon, and nomads will wander in the Forest, free to be devoured at will!

I don't fear for My Youths, even if their cattle are badly nourished, their fear will be a far greater compensation for the missing meat.

Waiting babies, many babies

2011-07-26T18:57:00.000+02:00

Test confirmed, I'm pregnant from the several Lovers I laid with last weekend!

Last time I did it the mammal way.

Now I will describe you another recipe, to deliver a new generation of Youths.

As you may know, feeble humans, We, The Great Ol'Ones, are form changers. We can look like whatever We want, depending on Our mood of the time.
It's the same when having children.

This time, I'll do it the insect way: ths Summer Season is a time for traveling, so be it.

I will leave My eggs all around this small world, as a surprise gift for the feeble humans living in the neighbourhood, when the eggs will break, and deliver My Larvaes!

I guess some New Age dumbass will have a great summertime, as well as some forest rangers and orchard growers.

Don't be frightened for My Youths, feeble humans, while They seem to be vulnerable in their eggs, or as young and tender Larvaes, They will be well guarded.
And to prevent the Guardians to feed on them, I will choose the locations so They won't lack food and game.

Your financial system seems not quite dead, yet, feeble humans. So I will give you an investment advice: don't put any penny nor cent nor shekel in a company whose activities are related to camping or forest. These will take a real blow in the following weeks!
Traveling agencies and transport companies will have a hard time. This beardy looser's may be feeding the fishes, it won't change anything. There are far more dangerous creatures than terrorists and extremists, in this small world.
You can invest in mortuary industries, though.

It's Monday

2011-07-25T15:41:00.000+02:00

Cleaning the mess done during the weekend...

After all these parties and orgies, I'll have a hard work cleaning My home. I'd like to let the blood and meat patches on My walls and roof, but I need a clean place to foster the products yielded by this...

Did a test this morning, I'm waiting for a new bunch of Youths!

Expect more festivities in the coming weeks!

Yes, Birth and Fostering is also an orgiastic Festival for Us, The Great Ol'Ones.

You, feeble humans, may wonder how is it to make festivities while waiting for One Thousand new Youths.
The only thing I'll tell you for now, it's varying, at least as much as Our Forms and Morphology...

More on this tomorrow.

Tea for Two, and Two for Me

2011-07-24T12:34:00.000+02:00

... And You for Me!

Today I will explain you My recipe for a lovely, intimate, and unforgettable dinner with Your favorite lover (or one of Yours)!

Ingredients:
- A good bunch of foolhardy adults, at least five. Ten or more, depending of the Greatness and Power of your Guest.
- Some younger ones, preferably not related to the former ones. It's always better to diversify your diet.

- First: find out the taste of the Guest. It can be rather tricky, as Mines are famous for their quick change of mood, and forms...
Looking at the Stars will be of much help. A good and precise Eaons Calendar will be handy, too. Avoid the Maya's, it's full of mathematical and astronomical mistakes!

- Second: Choose the right victims, err... meat.

- Third: organize a party to get the sacrificed ones to a convenient place.
You have two options, here: confined or out in the wild (but isolated). For a really intimate dinner, where, well, the ultimate goal is to get laid, I would counsel a closed place. Most of common basements will do, provided they are well sound proof. An isolated farm or manoir is my preferred place.

- Fourth: don't miss the appetizers phase. Some children of the neighborhood will do, or campers.
If your Guest is a male Deity (as most of Mine are), let Him play with these toys, They like it.

- Five: Don't let this childish mess last too long, at least not to the point your dinner room is overwhelmed by blood and flesh. Try to keep the place clean for the main course.

- Six: now, this can be tricky. Get Your Guest to hide, hide well yourself, and open the basement trap or door, remotely and quietly.
The victims will generally take some time before getting out, so scared they are. Wait they are all gone out, silence, quietness and discrecy is the key there.

- Seven: they will wander in Your dwelling. As nothing bad happens they will get more bold but no less afraid, though they will boast sometimes.

- Eight: get one of them. If possible, make him/her die slowly with much scream. It will render the meat of the others finer.
IMPORTANT: just before he/she dies, give the stuff to Your Guest. He will greatly appreciate this offrande.

- Nine: now, the frantic mess is on. Your Guest won't resist to get your victims, play with them, disjoint them.
Let Him do what He wants with them.

- Ten: After such a mess, Your Guest may be tired and hopefully tender. Time to get laid and breed a new generation of Thousand Youths!
If Your Guest feels too tired, don't hesitate to add some spice to the intercourse, sex toys are not only for humans, especially when they are made of human (and still living) flesh and bones!

More cooking

2011-07-23T11:40:00.000+02:00

You, feeble humans, especially those so called modern protestant or just selfish without enough kids to replace your loser generation, and even catholic or other archaic ones, with barely enough offspring to fill the earth to exhaustion during the next century, you cannot understand what is it to have to foster One Thousand Youths!

And when I say 1 000, it's only a quick sum... Millions would better fit.

I must do justice, for once, We, the Great Ol'Ones, have at least one common point with your feeble race: male inconsequence.

Male are eager to promise you the Universe and Everything, provided you lay and open your legs.
I talk from My looong experience, and I REALLY pity your females. At least, through Eaons, I had time to learn and manage.

Many of your females have only five minutes of pleasure, then nine months of sufferance, then twenty years of burden, for each promise you gave them.

But back to My point: how to feed My Thousands so lovely and hungry Youths, so generously bred by My godly lovers ?
Who didn't bother of their offspring afterward... Like many of male humans.

I had to industrialize things a bit. Your mcdonald's and co. didn't innovate much for that matter.

- First: chose a convenient date. Every solstice or special occasion, or even your national day will do. Religion and superstition is your invention, not Ours.

- Second: some marketing and communication. Get the flock to the butcher's place

- Third: make them laugh, then cry and scream. The meat is better when saturated with adrenaline.

- Fourth: add some condiments. I have a preference for some fine tasting viruses. But a meteorite will do, also.

- Five: the climax. Ambiance is of utmost importance for a great feast. Tsunami, earthquake, eruption, nuclear accident, storms.

- Six: Eat quickly while it's hot. My offspring never miss that!

- Seven: for the dessert, always let some victims run and harm them non lethaly. Can add some sugar as the fear and adrenaline can alter the taste bitterly.

Does this remember you of some event ? I love to keep some pictures and videos of family fests! Google links and cache are full of them!

Next recipe: a more intimate dinner for two. Before breeding a new stock of Youths!

Some Cooking

2011-07-22T18:15:00.000+02:00

Woa! Feeble humans! You are at last mixing your DNA with animals' ?

Great news!

Seems you are a bit late, though... I should invite some of you for dinner one of these days. My kitchen would upset you!

Still hesitating, huh ?

We, the Great Ol'Ones, did this for long eaons, though... Picking some molecule chains and mixing with others.
Never wondered why your DNA is so common with ape's, swine's, or even fish's ?

Silly you are.

You're just discovering you have your hated enemy's genes, those poor Neanderthals you hunted and ate so mercilessly (losing your body hair in the process, voracious you were), mingled with your so precious ones...

And it's just a matter of time you find with what creatures (or, surprise! plants or fungi) your chromosomes were mixed with.

Your so called bio genius and engineering have nothing to show Us, silly beasts!

Next plague will be a mutated mildew you thought would attack only those primitive vegetables you grow and eat.

Just tested it yesterday evening with some unexpected guests. They will be a fine decoration in my cozy entrance. I ever was fond of bonsai, especially when they're animated by remains of their former life.

That will change them and you of your fast food!

Holidays

2011-07-16T21:22:00.000+02:00

You'd never believe it, you feeble humans, that We, Great Ol'Ones, would take holidays ?
Well, yes We do, sort of.

All my Youths are gone to do camping in the woods, at the beach. Let Them have some fun, plenty of fresh meat on the coast these days.

Meantime, I'm alone in My old dwelling, enjoying the silence, the calm, and doing My home cleaning without fearing some of Them would ruin all My efforts by stepping with muddy feet.

During the afternoon, I watch the TV, commenting the events and the show with My favorite lovers, by SMS. Question of the day: which will fall first, the American Economy or the Murdock empire ? I'm sure Nyarly will push one of the two, just to win the bet.

Hey, feeble humans, did you think We're stuck with archaic grimoires and ceremonies in the woods for our leisures ? We know how to appreciate and use your so called "modern" technologies, when We find a point for it. And remember you're currently reading My blog, silly!

Summer night is for parties, just as for you.

Yesterday I snatched some youngs camping in My garden (they called it a haunted wood... A wood!). They are now haunting My cellar, girls heads still hooked to the boys genitals. Limbs of both genders will do a cozy decoration at the roof, when the worms will have done their job.

For tonight I don't know yet, maybe some beach games with teenagers camping in the vicinity, humans and star spawns from the nearby submarine suburbs.
Or maybe I'll replace one of the so called "horrors" showing in the local fest. If I choose this one, stay tuned about news of some more attractions gone to madness!

I love this season.

Summer Solstice

2011-06-25T11:46:00.001+02:00

At last, Sun is on Her descending path... This season will be hot! Autumn will be Bloody!

Just came back from some holidays in Fukushima, Japan. Forests will grow quickly there. Spring is the best time to Seed!
Feeble humans fear the Ocean and Dagon's Wrath. They don't suspect What is lurking in their back while they are watching on the coast!
I made interesting encounters while swimming near the fault. Ocean life can be tremendous when Evolution is helped by some radiations...
Interbred Myself and some of My Youths with these nuclear marine novelties and brought back the products to brood under earth. Once fully growth, dummy ecologists won't praise the Forest anymore!
Youth clad in black scales! No armor nor weapon would avail against these!

Now back in Europe for the Festivals season. Those silly new age dumbass don't know how near the Truth they are when expecting the end of their world...
Some My Youths played with germinated seeds, too, while I was away. Just a kids game for now. Now is the right season to grow and harvest.
Five fruits and vegetable a day ? And bloody diarrhea for the night!
Bonfires and Hydromel for the survivors!
Let there be music, songs, and prayers! Many of these wannabe Pagans don't even know the real meaning of their ceremonies... They will find out soon... Too soon for their Sanity!

Music and gardening, and bucolic fest until the Sun rises on a devastated landscape. That is Poetry!

Will write a cook book, one of these days, to teach feeble humans how to savor My garden products.
Now I'm off, need to negociate some EU grant for My new agro company... It was an idea of my lover Nyarly: make them pay for their demise!
His humor will always make Me melt!

Hey! WTF ?!?

2011-05-20T20:50:00.000+02:00

Madness is Our Realm! We, The Great Old Ones, are the Only Ones to yield this WMD!

But, what's this shit ? What about this froggy wreaking havoc Our media plan ?

I can assure you it's not an Avatar of Nyarlathotep!
It's not one of My Thousand Youths!
It's not even one of Our minions, escaped from Our vaults nor of one of your sanitariums!

Who is he ?

Just a froggy who tried to climb too high for his guts!

This looser is called DSK in his own country. History will recall less than three letters from his name...

Finance wonderfully leads to madness... This lamer may have too much read the hidden grimoire nECONOMICon...

Squid in space

2011-05-15T13:56:00.001+02:00

Squid go into space – for the sake of humanity

HAHAHAHAHA!

Poor Humans! They need a multibillion scrap heap to send a poulp into space!

Don't worry, feeble Humans, other babies with real wings will shortly come down for you from outter space!

Last time before I leave you!

2011-05-12T07:34:00.000+02:00

Shudde M'ell! For the last time, PLEASE STOP FARTING IN BED!

These holidays in Spain should have been a dream and you made it a nightmare!

You silly tunnel digger!

They got him, finally!

2011-05-08T16:02:00.000+02:00

Coming back a week too late, We had some cleaning to do on the east cost of Japan. What a party it was, there!

And now learning these christian fanatics finally got this muslim fanatic nemesis wanabe moron, this Ben Laden.

Reminds Me of another Yemenite dumbass, trying to make much advertisement writing about things he couldn't even begin to understand, poor human... And surely expecting to rip some royalties from it.
As boonty, he got only ripped by one of our inferior demons. We didn't even bother to act Ourselves!

I know the OBL's videos will stay for a while, just as the Al Hazred book stand centuries of well deserved autodafés.

Let this be a fair warning for those who pretend to be famous by world destruction: you all finish in the trash bin of History, you silly wannabe Nemesis.
If you want to wreck the Universe havoc, don't announce it on the net, just do it!

Good bye, mujahideen, hope your thousand virgins will pell your dried balls to the blood!

(Sorry to be rude, but We, Real Bad Great Old Ones, don't stand competition from so filthy motherfuckers)

Now going take some rest and fun. Our new Club Med in Tripoli is awesome! This colonel is the kind of mad arabs I love the more!

Stars shifting ?

2011-01-15T19:58:00.000+01:00

Are the Stars Right for you ?

It doesn't really matters for you, feeble humans!
For Us They are on Their way to be Right!

Errr... What is this noise ?
Unrest in North Africa ? Not far from Egypt ?
Sorry, I must go at once. Seems the Time has come to join My former husband Nyarly in His favourite area!

You'll ear more news of Us soon without bothering reading this blog for a Time!

Good Score!

2011-01-04T09:48:00.000+01:00

This past year was tremendous for Us!
Earth Quakes, Floods, Vulcanoes... They even killed more than the humans' petty wars!
Death toll caused by "natural" disasters was at its peak since 30 years.

Special prize for the Cthonians, Iää! Shudde M'ell! A'gnl ftagn hoopfnl nagl f'agn! Iää!

This year, the local star will be right: Maunder Minimum
At least, Ithaqua's winds will make you regret your petty global warming...

But more surprises will surely come! We're working on It!

Horrible New Year, feeble humans!

Thoughts about France and Ivory Coast

2010-12-24T19:46:00.000+01:00

Some weeks ago, the same day, there were two elections of utmost importance!

French had two competing elections for their beautyfulest Miss. So they have now two Miss France.
Ivory Coast had one presidential election, and is stuck with two competing presidents, neither of them would recognize his defeat.

Poor French! Each nation has the problems it deserves!
When I think two weeks ago (or was it two centuries ?) they were leading Revolutions... Well...
My boyfriend Nyarly is jacking up until He'd bleed about all this!

Time for Wishes

2010-12-24T18:48:00.000+01:00

Feeble humans,

We, the Great Old Ones, wish you to die tonight with horrible sufferance and cosmic horror!
This birthday of what some of you call your "Savior" was saluted by Stars, may these be Right tonight!
Hopefuly, the coming year will be the last of your supremacy on this dusty rock you call "the world".

And continue to search a real usage for these thingy iPads and other tablets many of you will get at the foot of your tree tonight.
It leaves Us time to think to your non-future!

Already a new Winter Solstice ?

2010-12-19T18:47:00.000+01:00

Times accelerate these eaons... Preparing the Festival with my Old Mate the Great Cthulhu. Stay tuned to get news about coming floods!

Oh, and no way to search Wikileaks archives about Us. We, The Great Old Ones, have nothing to do with diplomats!

UPDATE: GIGER IS BACK!
http://entertainment.slashdot.org/story/10/12/19/1419248/HR-Giger-Returns-To-the-Alien-Franchise
More horrors lurking next to your doorstep!

Space Exploration

2010-05-24T22:04:00.001+02:00

Feeble humans have a hard time going into space.

Some years ago, during the so called "Cold War" (seems an instant for Me) they were eager to put whatever means to ride farther in space, on the moon and beyond.
Ready to kill whoever opposes to their side.
These days, they don't have the will to go outside their commercial orbits.

They did it many times though. Colonization seems graven in their genes.
America, Asia, Africa. The (soon to be former) masters of this world got all territories they could.

Nowadays, they're stopped by mere budget troubles.

Is this race faltering at last ?

I guess the real reason is they found no one to kill and spoil, for now.

Next time, they'll be the natives.

More Finance

2010-05-09T19:04:00.000+02:00

Hmmm... Maybe We, The Great Old Ones should found a bank to skin our cultists to the bones!

Decidedly, this Finance thingy needs more of My attention. Stay atune while I get something up!

IP

2010-04-30T23:02:00.001+02:00

It was a time when "IP" meant "Internet Protocol". The basis of this thingy enabling you to read this post...
These days, even articles on geek sites like this Slashdot take "IP" for "Intellectual Property".
What a change in so few time!
We, The Great Old Ones are well aware of Change. But We see and yield it on long eaons you feeble humans can barely cope with.

But...

Why do you, especially your leaders, politics, economics, financials... Why do you lose time with such petty questions ?

I mean, the Internet Protocol is a tremendous technology. It was never patented. Open to everyone wanting to use it.
What's this mess protecting not so new ideas for greedy profit ?

Well... I should not complain. It will serve Us. Nonetheless, if you kill yourself and your guts with such bullshit, the meat won't be so tasteful for Us when we finally get you!

So please, don't spoil Our fest!

Do not sue, Fight! (preferably with sharp blades)
Do not think for you petty profit, there'll be none eventually!
Eat more and more so your flesh will be plenty!
Don't care about Future, We will handle it!
And, most importantly, don't kill yourselves you silly! What will remain for Us to eat ?
If you do, We'll be obliged to come down on another world... Think of other aliens so called civilizations we'll wreak havoc!

Well... we'll get'em all eventually!

Shit...

2010-04-24T13:06:00.000+02:00

I've lost my iFungus 4G prototype, and this sciences Gizmodo found it and leaked it!

Wonder if some airways company will offer Me a fly away from the Boss, and some drink to forget!

Hangover

2010-04-20T11:19:00.000+02:00

Too much is too much. Can't stand my liquor after several days of party. Maybe those gases are going to my head, too...

Well... It seems my Lloigor friends need some help.
They were not as secret as usual, this time.
See the "LL" on the pic ? It means all!

I should've warn them about froggies...

Never mind. Just some bullshit and the next bubble will get momentum. Maybe a new quake or something to keep your feeble human minds occupied, We'll see, hehe!

Meanwhile, here is a preview of what will happen next to your home!

Sure You Wonder How We Can Make So Huge A Cloud

2010-04-16T13:40:00.000+02:00

Silly Humans! You still don't understand how powerful, We, The Great Old Ones, are, ney ?

Al right, I'll explain how we covered the North Sea with ashes. Not a huge achievement for Us, anyway.

So, when Ithaqua decided to have His party, He had some conditions: must be far in the North where His powers are greater, there must be wind, big wind, and He loves clouds, too.
When You have Friends like the Cthonians attending to Your Party, and the place is a volcanic island, lost in the Northern Sea, covered with Ice, surrounded with winds, it's not complicated.

The main problem for Our Cthonians Friends is that they don't like water. They almost can't suffer to see it, I mean.
So They had to reach the place tunneling far away in the roots of the oceanic plateau, bringing rocks, lavae, gases, hydrocarbure for the fun.
When They came to the surface, by the volcano's chimney, the ice covering it melted in huge clouds.
The Wendigo dancing with strippers made the clouds whirl.

That's It. No Magick here. Just physical and natural forces.

But, hey! What if We turned this into a supervolcano ? The clouds would plunge the whole planet in a nuclear winter.

If you don't know what I'm speaking about, take a look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supervolcano

Latest small one, in 1815, was named The Year Without A summer
Small, but caused much havoc and death among Humans...

I'll feed this idea to the brides. Stay tuned for the marriage. All the Human Race (and their pets) will be invited, this time!

Great Party In The North!

2010-04-15T21:29:00.000+02:00

I told you last time Mother Hydra was with Ithaqua. Now it's official!

Ithaqua is currently feasting the burial of His bachelorhood in Iceland. No wonder that's making some clouds!
Pity humans stopped their flights too early for Us to get some appetizers. But the Party is only at its beginning!

No, I won't tell you Who assists, it would lead to too much mess with Ol'Dagon, and surely with the Bride.
Didn't even imagine Ithaqua was so HARD. Almost exhausted Me already ;)

CTHONIANs Are Moving

2010-03-20T21:12:00.001+01:00

Great migration time for the Cthonians. Some went East in Turkey for winter holydays, some prefered Chile but the main tribe got some sunny time in the Caribbeans!
Don't worry, They will be near your home soon! Get ready if you can!

Hmmm... And for those of you feeble humans, who thought to escape by hiding in your basement, don't count on this!
Mother Hydra and Her progeny will take care of your silly refuge if you are living too near the see level (or not), as She did on France Atlantic coast!

No need to bring an earthquake to get a flood, as you see... Just some wind and a timy tide.

Oh, and for those who are looking for gossip and peoples newsbreak, here is a scoop:
Mother Hydra isn't with ol'Dagon anymore. She took arm and luggage and progeny and went with Ithaqua. The storm and flood was there engagement party!

Stay tuned for the marriage, it promises much wreak and havoc!
You will be expected, of course, as food or merely amusement!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-01-01T15:26:00.001+01:00

May it be full of madness, utter horror and savage rites and orgies!

Not much time to write these eaons, hope to give you some news more regularly in '10. Many uncanny things to come, stay tuned!

May the Stars be Right for you all!

Halloween

2009-11-10T15:43:00.000+01:00

Human sillyness will always astound Me!

Playing with their fears, celebrating a feast they don't even know the origin and meaning.
O how they should be fearing this Day, though. Really.
It is My Day.

Celts were right to fear it. Thinning border between their world and Mine. Indeed!
Nowadays, Humans make fun of it, even making their children playing tricks!

Last time I told you I was preparing a party celebrating your coming demise.
What do you think the main course was ?

Let me quote a not so silly human writer:
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity..."

Now, if you dare, take a look at police statistics counting missing children and youths in the following days of... My Day!

Note to the parents: please, can you stop buying'em those indigest plastic masks and costumes ?

Now, going to my doctor. If he doesn't have some cure for my aching stomac, his flesh would make an acceptable remedy!

Real Evil

2009-11-08T12:54:00.000+01:00

Know the Google moto ? Don't Be Evil.
What about Be Completely Evil ?

IT's already on the run, somewhere, everywhere, out to get YOU.
I launched IT this morning with the help of some unknowingly friends.

Who is IT ? What is IT ? Don't worry, you will know IT when IT will eat your guts.

As Humans need to put a face on abstract concepts, I will tell you... If you imagine an hybrid mixing Adolf Hitler, Bin Laden and Terminator, you'll not miss the point by much.

A really Evil computer virus. Just spreading, silently for now.
When the Stars are Right, IT will wake up and wreak havoc all IT will touch.
The networks of course, your hard drive, your online data, even those you aren't aware of.
Your bank accounts, your local hospital, your email and messaging boxes, your Sacred TV, the traffic lights at the corner of your street.
Your cellular phone, too.

How will you live without all this virtuality gone too real ? Iä !

When will IT hit you ? You'll know soon enough. IT has nothing to loose, IT doesn't think like you. ITs only agenda is to break, kill, destroy all IT can.

And you silly humans, you invented virtual viruses only to send some spam! And try to win the jackpot!

We, The Great Old Ones, are above Good and Evil. We don't care about you, feeble humans. Only your are so much a fun for Us, when your guts are filled with your fears.
We eat your anxiety. It is our favorite meal.
We'll be the real winners.

Now, some family news. Remember my Youths born almost a year ago ? Seems eaons, right ?
I sent them abroad as they are in age of studying. Much quicker than your humans offspring who need to remain in your nest more than 20 years.
So They are settling new territories.
No need to tell you where. Many of you are already feeling it.
And your so called scientists and your politicians warn you about climate change risking to destroy your so loved forests!
If they only suspected what is growing there, they'd burn'em all at any price!

It's all in your genes, I guess, Humans.
Always fighting for what isn't relevant.
Always waking too late, having already destroy what could save you.
Always fearing what can't harm you.
And ignoring the real threat that will lead you to your Doom.

Enough for now. I've an orgy to prepare. Celebrating your demise.

Black

2009-07-01T10:14:00.000+02:00

This is the colour of this forthcoming aeon
Humans always feared it. I just don't know why
Last week a singer died. He wanted to be white
Black is the future, it is already the present

Why did he die wanting to be white ? He was not
Skin is only an envelope. Soul is real meat
The new King of West is almost Black in his meat
Next will be Black in His Soul, future will be not

Bubbles and Bubbles

2009-07-01T08:57:00.000+02:00

Now some economics and politics.
Where are the real winners of the current financial crisis ?
Hint: just look at the resumé of almost all the people in public office, here and on all the continent.
What do they all have in common ? Were at some time or another an executive of some of the most powerful business banks, mainly Goldman Sachs.

This firm, more than its counterparts, is in the bubble business for more than a century: Great Depression, Internet zero billion dollar market, subprimes, oil peak last year, and now the bail out plans.
Not a bad distance for mortals. Well, it's fairly easy when you're able to place so many of your pawns in decisive positions. The court of the new King of the West is already crippled...

Now the scoop: the next bubble will be on carbon business. They've even managed to replace tax collecting by a private speculation market. And all that in the name of the crumbling environment!

These guys are really good. Or bad, depending on which side you are (if you're a mortal, you lost).
Even when you know the founders of the firm started after visiting some isolated areas in the hills of Vermont. Don't wonder whence their skills in ore speculation came...
They beated their old continent mentors, ye Lloigors.

All these bubbles are just a reminder of Yog-Sothoth shape, before He comes back, too!
That won't be virtual mathematic constructions, this time!

And The Winner Is...

2009-06-30T22:10:00.000+02:00

Mahmoud.

Just made a trip to the East, on our new highway (don't try to find it on a map, silly mortals).
Good news for you, humans: the newly re-elected Prince of Persia isn't an Avatar of Nyarly.

Well... Not directly...

The bad news are: his mentor and puppet master, is... And from a longer time you would guess.

This Khamenei is just like old Ephraïm Waite. Never wonder how his language and manners look like those of his predecessor ? He didn't even bother to choose a much different name for his new envelope!
And the list of his reincarnations is rather long. It's not hard to find feeble minds easy to be droped from their heads, out there. The religious brainwashing is for something in that!

Well... There will be war among the Persians, before it spread abroad. It won't be long, now. The new King of the West and his friends won't have to search long to get spotlights anywhere but on their plots. More on this next time.

Still tunneling

2009-05-22T22:10:00.000+02:00

Shudde M'ell is back, too!
Don't need to tell you were He is burrowing, It's anywhere in the news. Going to organize a dancing party with My Youths and His! No invitations, like a rave, setup is always a surprise!
Soon in your (bay)area! And pizza for free! Iäää!

Another Tunnel

2009-05-21T12:56:00.000+02:00

I gave no news since last Yule. No time to write, too much to do in this decidedly stranger world...
So what's new ? My Youngs have quickly grown up and already gone abroad with Their Father.
I only get news of Them through the press, now. Seems this is common with mixed couples these days. Maybe I should hire an attorney to get Them back, but well... I don't want to hinder Their studies.
You all humans have surely heard of Them in the news. The East is crumbling under Their strokes: wars on earth and sea, Near East elections (don't fully understand what's this, as each leader seems worse than the previous one), and now this new missile.
All I regret is that Their Father seems too eager and as always in a rush. Hope Old Nye won't make a mess of all the opportunities this Aeon bears...

As for Me, well... Just killing time playing with My new pet. You know it also. You even gave it several names: A-H1N1, Mexican flu, swine flu... Surely you didn't know it was a direct product of my Forests. And so many among you still want to protect the trees, believing your survival needs them!
If only they knew... Your Doom is there, lurking in My so fruitful forests. All humans would press on deforestation, root out trees to the last.
Anyway it's too late, now. Just wait 'till next Fall. You will rightly be frightened during Samain Feast! No tricks, this time!

Birth

2008-12-23T13:08:00.000+01:00

Many old legends tell pregnancy and birth were like dying and be born again... Nothing is more true in this case!
The semen N. put in Me yesterday worked hard and quick!
I delivered them all this morning, couldn't stand and feed them more. I handled them to My most robust nurses. How powerful these Youths are! They even killed some of the nurses, so eager they are to eat and grow!
I suspect N. has perfected His DNA enhancement techniques on Himself before dropping the worst ideas into those human minds. No wonder their genetic engineering companies are so successful in preparing the destruction of their own race!

These little ones won't become a pretext to give presents to human children! It'll be the other way around!
I've set My Hunters loose on the big city suburbs and poor areas missioned to bring back human children of the year to feed My new Youths. The occasion is too well timed, isn't it ?
Don't expect to see your favorite news report on this. Yuletide period isn't fit for neighborhood tragedy, especially concerning the poorer of the poor. So much bad news already hitting the stands, anyway.

Need to rest, now... Reading, some writing, and reflecting... Still too many questions without answers in those really strange aeons...
Maybe I'm just not accustomed to child bearing anymore. This will mend shortly.

Encounter

2008-12-22T01:43:00.000+01:00

At last, I met my former lover, Nyarlathotep!

He seems to have much changed since last time I saw Him, during the witch hunts several centuries ago. And not so much, in fact...
Dear Nyarly. Always this sense of prettiness even in the most utter horror mongering.
He was wearing His current work suit, elegant but sober, in phase with the financial aces fashion. Even if one detail betrayed His overwork. He still had a GI's plate hanging round His neck, probably just coming back from one of His favorite battlefields!
Told Me He was just making some check and adjustments in the Big Apple mess before going west to handle the real economy as well as the virtual one. Can't wait to see the Chaos He will set in motion there, too!

No doubt now, the Stars are right! And the Sky is about to fall on this petty so-called civilization!

Between, the Tcho-Tcho people are moving, too... They're just beginning to defy this world leaders, it's only a matter of time before they advance openly toward the West. Chaugnar Faugn will soon wake up from His millenary sleep!
Others will wake up shortly now. From what Nyarlathotep told me, I guessed those boats runners, the Vendée Globe world tour, will meet more than just flying fishes and whales in the South Oceans! Never wonder why their boats had a tendency to sink near R'lyeh ?

One thing I don't fully understand yet, is this climate warming affair. No more ice covering the North Pole. Where is Ithaqua ? I guess my dear Nyarly has much to do with this than He pretends. Even if He assures Me this mess is entirely due to mankind recklessness, for once. He always tried to keep His little business tricks for Himself. But I see farer than He would like!

Well... I must rest now. As you may already have guessed, We didn't just talk! I have a new generation of offspring to bear and deliver. How potent my dear Nyarly still is! Doesn't seem to have aged a day through all these eaons!
I feel deep inside these new Youths will be specially strong and cunning! Will change Me of these mindless unfrozen Shoggoths!

Politics as (not so)usual

2008-12-21T11:04:00.000+01:00

Now that election time is over, let's go back to work... Hard work.
Fostering this crisis isn't an easy job. Fortunately we have many allies in both current and future administration.
Take this Bernanke for instance. He was boasting to be a Great Depression specialist. And he does exactly what will lead to an even more abyssal economic crunch! All that without Our help!

Between, I finally found out where Young Nyarlathotep was hiding. I was right to think He had some responsibility in this mess... Can't tell here openly. Just say he's very close to Secretary Paulson and inspired most of his so-called plan.

As if these feeble humans could engineer something even approaching a real plan... Tsss...
We, Great Deities, are the only Ones with the skills to foster Great Plans. Humanity will understand this once more too badly, and much too early for the tastes of many!

This new administration they think will come to power after Yuletide will be the shortest of their era.

Well... Much remains to do to ensure the feast will be remembered for many generations of men. My good Nyarlathotep wants to have some fun during these festivities. I have to prepare some fireworks.
Stay tuned to your regular news channels, you'll soon see what I mean!

After that, real work will begin to show its results. Lack of jobs and purse troubles will be a memory of good ol'times for those chimps!

Times and Dimensions

2008-12-20T18:48:00.000+01:00

My cultists and My Youths work well... How amazing My Youths are growing in these urban areas. Like in those ancient times before we had to hide far inside forests and woods.

Times are changing once more.

Remember when I was with young Nyarlathotep. We traveled about this world, before it went green, then gray. I assumed my female form, then. And He almost exhausted me, breeding and breeding. What a sexual power He had!
We even go threesome with Goddess Bast. What a delight to be both male with Her and female with Him! Wonder if we could make it once more together...

Modern cats are descending of The Offsprings of Us, Goddess Bast and Me...
You couldn't tell nowadays, as they have dwindle to these stuffy creatures humans believe are their pets...
Wait till they grow again! Christian fanatics and sorcerer hunters were right to immolate them in those "Middle Ages"!

Some Summoners keep to ask me how we, Ancient Ones, can live in several Times and Dimensions simultaneously.
When I can, I usually show them how their body can be split in several parts and they still live to feel it!
For those who have managed to yield the good Protections which keep Me to mend them, I learn how to travel through Times and Dimensions.
Usually that goes worse for them than being crushed by My tentacles!

I remember one of them who managed to jump about fifty times along all the Continuum, without knowing he was leaving behind a small part of his flesh and mind each time.
It would not have been really armful to him if the parts had remained in each place.

But, as Universal Laws are, which even Us Great Ancients can't amend nor fully understand, there was some sort of Vortex, a Time Tempest which wandered in each of the fifty locations, and got hold of each of the Summoner parts, whose had now growth to seem like the original.
And dropped them all exactly where the Summoner was. In the Siberian forest where he was roaming after coming back to his world, mindless, babbling and not even able to stand on two feet as his race had learned.

Recreated matter doesn't bear to be brought to its other Times or Dimensions clones!
Human scientists believed it was anti-matter but it was exactly the opposite!
Too much matter duplicated in different Dimensions reunited in the same place
Wonderful to see how a small human body can sprout this much energy!
And they still wonder what meteor did this!

Times running short, even for Us, Ageless creatures

2008-10-13T22:44:00.000+02:00

Too much busy to write, these days... This thing there, this election has taken most of my time. First to understand why these people vote in the first place...
How can an election change their miserable lives ?
I sent some spies in both conventions. Whatever the result, I'll be represented in the next administration!

I have much to do about this new economic crisis, too... Seems my old boy Nyarlathotep has set up a new chaotic cataclysm!
Violence, Wrath and Death will begin to rise!

Cleaning

2008-05-26T20:05:00.000+02:00

As many of you humans know it, it's such a mess to move into a new dwelling!

Not that I care much about decoration, furniture and these sorts of things, but...
Switching from my bucolic forest to these gray, uniform masses of concrete and metal and glass they call "architecture" put My mind in a morale abyss.

Must finish with My installation here, and unpacking and all ASAP. And begin to focus on more glorious matters.
I didn't think it would take so much time to handle such trivialities. And those memories which come back on opening each crate.

Be back soon, for more interesting matters...

Moving

2008-04-26T16:44:00.000+02:00

At last, I've entered my new dwelling! This city is really wonderful!
I have settled in the underground labyrinths under the town. Tunnels, sewers, catacombs, tubs. Modern cities are even better developed than ancient ones.
Many humans dwelling or working there are now enthralled to Me and My Youths. By conviction or by fear.

I have now a Capital in this world.

Naturaly, there was some blood spilled. Some of my followers captured underground voyagers in a subway station and immoled them for My Glory. They were even joined by a couple of Shoggoths, bloodthirsty as usual. I had to send My Youths to settle things properly.
But the mess reached the news.
Anyway I am in control of the main media what ? er... "journalists" as they call themselves.
I didn't have much work dictating them what to report, as it seems this human country is in an "election year". It draws all of their thoughts.
Can't yet figure what it is exactly.

Seems some of my ex-husband's cultists are even running for it: Cthulhu for President or are they just mocking Us ?

Anyway, my power will spread from here to the world. I have already sent followers to other human cities and countries. Can't wait for their reports!

I got a Call

2008-04-18T11:51:00.000+02:00

Just before departing to the City, I received a Call.
It was a long time I wasn't Summoned by a mortal sorcerer or any other creature.
People of these times lack skills and perseverance to learn the right Words and Rites.
On the good side, it lets more time to mind my own Business. You can't know how it can become boring to be Called by wannabe world masters who ask silly questions about Life, the Universe and Everything.

This one wanted to know the secret of Eternal Life.
If I had more time I would have given some double-axe spell, and watch him handle the trouble.
But I was in a hurry, eager to enter my new Capital.

Evidently, he had misspelled the Words of Binding, or forgotten to set his Protections rightly.
I didn't kill him. He will not live forever, but won't die soon enough for his comfort.
When I left him, he even had all his mind, and enough of his body to survive.
But not much more.

For what I know of the human society, his peers won't let him die nor ease his pains deliberately. Even if he begs them.
Great human laws full of fairness, goodness, pity, and Justice for All!

Anyway, I'm now about to leave this Forest in which I came back to life in this world.

A new life begins, among humans, throngs of them.

Hail Civilization! Your days are counted!

Gotcha!

2008-04-09T23:26:00.000+02:00

My Youths captured a Shoggoth in the City!
It lays now at my tentaculous feet. Utterly liquefied.
Not long before it reforms again, but now I'm sure it's bound to Me.

Strange things it told me. He believes to have been brought there by the creators of its race, Ye Elder Things.
Maybe it was one of their time travel experiences before their creations doomed them...

Anyway, they are here now, and I will use them.

According to what this Shoggoth told me, they were released here some centuries ago, just after the foundation of the City.
As human activity developed, they traveled to other big cities, by ground, water and air. They are still in contact with their peers all over the world.

It won't be long before I control them all. It will even be easier than I hoped.
Decidedly, Times are more than right for Us!

There's a bad side, though. Some humans are aware of Us. Shoggoths were never famous for their discretion. But for what I know about current human society, it will be easy to make them crushed by their own authorities. Make them accused of heresy or sorcery or "terrorism", as they seem to like the term, nowadays.

Still waiting...

2008-04-06T23:50:00.000+02:00

I have sent one squadron my worst human zealots to the city. With some of my Youths.
They told me strange things. The entrails of this metropolis show the signs of recent Shoggoths dwellings...
Waiting for my Youths to contact them. If they can't, I will go Myself and see...

Not that I fear them, but depending of their maturity and number, they can be a hurdle to manage.
And yet can be so useful.
As for I know, they seem to have taken the control of the big city, one way or another. Maybe for some aeons.
All humans my zealots met are marked by their Sign, in their flesh and spirit.
Even the lords of the city, the "Mayors" as they call them, are under their influence.

I need to learn more about that before moving more.

Family

2008-04-01T22:49:00.000+02:00

Last time, I told you about the Tcho-Tchos and Tibet.
But no time to mess up with that. To raise as many children as I have is such a hurdle...

I didn't told you, I got many followers, and lovers, and brides, and children, and human flesh these last two months.
Seems this world is as full of people as it can be.

I've got several dozens of Youths, now... and about twice as many to come. And more devoted human followers, ahem... some of them not as human as that, in fact.

To tell all, I'm a bit frightened by these humans. So much violence in them. I don't have to incite them to kill or kidnap new brides or servants. They go for it, more eager to kill and rape than anything else. By just doing that, they spread my semen. I just need that for now. Get more and more of them.

I just worry for discretion.

But in these times, it seems all is possible, even the most chocking, brutal, savage.
One of these young Europe countries even recently elected a new president with this slogan: "Ensembles, tout est possible"!

Iää!!! They deserve it!

Soon my hordes of Youths and zealots will crush their homes !

This forest which I haunt becomes too small for me and my croud... Need more space and food. Maybe we'll go to this great city I see, not so faraway.. with its great buildings reaching the skies, it makes me feel Ye Old Irem of the Pillars is back from the Desert dust.
Must have damp and wet entrails below its chining carapace.

And the humans which are dwelling there are as ants we will feed from, like some predators.
I can feel even from here how they are full of fear, and hatred of themselves.
They will serve me well, willing or not !

From there the Long Journey will begin. First find the Others Old Ones, and conquer, and dominate!
Can't wait to see the masters of this Earth falling and crouching!

But first, reaching this city. Don't mind its name, it will be dub after Myself! My Capital!

Mad Arabs are back!

2008-03-31T22:05:00.000+02:00

Some times I didn't update this blog... Was looking at recent developments.

Funny how some nations outpass the others on the way of the Chaos...

First, there was this mad Arab, Al Hazred. He was contemporary of his people's Prophet, still revered today.
Maybe there are links between the two of them. Looking at their success at spreading Chaos.

Al Hazred did a huge job for Us. All that fainting to fight Us!
His writings were popularized until today mainly by novel writers and role/video games!
And now web sites

Then, the Arab Prophet followers founded the Al Azhar University.
These Egyptians were probably influenced by Nyarlathotep Spirit.

From this school came the Hashshashin/Assassin Sect, the Muslim Brotherhood and their spin off Al Qaeda
The Crawling Chaos Avatars have worked well!

And they spread to other countries and nations: crusades, inquisition and religious wars in Europe have been influenced by their oriental counterparts.

These organizations, and many others wrecked havoc the world for centuries.
Not a long time for Us, Great Old Ones, but it is rare to see this much Chaos in a so-called civilization...

These days, it is about to spark a new global conflict.
With the weapons the humans have nowadays, mainly thanks to Our Messenger's inspiring Spirit, it will doubtless bring their civilization's destruction, and Our Return!
And as several centuries ago, violence, madness and destruction has reached other countries as well.
Aggression responds to aggression.
Terror to terror.

And many of them only know Us through litterature or games!
They will eat their guts, or what remains of them!

Hmmm... Need to look at this "Tibet" thing, now. Seems the Tcho-Tchos are still active, too.
This eaon seems full of promises, decidedly.

The Stars are Almost Right!

2008-02-26T23:32:00.000+01:00

Now, I know why I woke up several days ago.

I captured several human beings since last time. Killed and ate some, impregnated others, converted some...
And I took the DNA of them all.

The human race is ripe for Our Return. We, Ye Great Old Ones, inserted in their DNA parts of our own genetics sequences...
Like viruses, these programs worked and computed for generations.
Infecting their cells, organs, reproducing themselves into following generations.

The process is now almost over.

Scanning the minds of my victims and followers, I saw the results of all this.
No wonder it's so easy to get them.

Their spirits and guts are like a parchment for Us to write.

Funny how they behave like Us when we were young, long before coming on the earth.
Some took more from The Great Cthulhu, others from Ithaqua or Chaugnar Faugn.
But they mostly got Nyarlathotep's and my own features.

Not surprising, as we teamed many times to imprint the biology of this world.

I've got now several tens of human followers. More are coming each night.

With the force it gives Me, I'm able to see farer and farer...
What I need now, is to reach the Others.
Probably Nyalrathotep is easier, as His spirit seems to be everywhere in this world.
Many humans are a kind of Crawling Chaos themselves.

I got a glimpse of their recent history. What a mess since My latest incarnation!
Wars, plagues, environment destruction, mass mental illness, manipulations...

Their entire civilization seemls to be directed to one goal: power for destruction.

This world is really full of promises.

Almost time for this evening ceremony. Is see they are still more numerous.

Partie de chasse

2008-02-20T22:08:00.000+01:00

At last I got one human.

Was a junky wandering about the forest, completely drunk and stoned...
He was with a girl even more drugged than him.

I drove the two in forest with some hallucination.
The guy was too doped to be afraid. I killed him and eat his flesh at once.
Not a bad taste, but not excellent either. Lack of fear in his mind.
Anyway, it was sufficient to ease my hunger for now.

As the girl saw the scene, Me in My Mightiness, crushing and swallowing her companion, she came out of her dreams.
I spared her because of the taste of her fear. It was so good to feel her wet her pants.

In reward, I gave her a small token into her womb.
She will bore my first Offspring in this Aeon.

I let her go for now. She will come back when the time for delivery has come...

I hope she will get some others in the vicinity. I need human flesh, and minds, and their fear to feed myself.
I need cultists and followers, too.

Let me make a parenthesis, here:

I feel some minds are upset by the fact I impregnated this girl.
Am I not supposed to be a female beeing ? Mother of Thousands Young ?

Ah! The narrowness of mortal spirit!

Think of isolated forms of life. What do they do to multiply ?
The become hermaphrodite, DNA reproducing with itself...

How do you think such peculiar forms of life as Us, Ye Old Ones, so unique,
so powerful you dub Us Gods or Goddesses,
but so isolated, and subjects to aeons of sleep, and wars among Us...
How do you think we survived all this times and dimensions ?

Sexes and genders are only a mortal notion.

Even if I'm used to appear as a female entity, I can, and I have been both along time...

Moreover, I'm able to keep the semen of my male or the eggs of my female partners, combining and reusing them as necessary...

This girl I impregnated with my DNA and Nyarlathotep's...
A good combination which has proven its efficiency more than one time!

I kept some DNA of the guy and the girl, too... Need to check some things about it.
More on this next time...

Strange world...

2008-02-18T20:43:00.000+01:00

What a strange world...

I got to the frontier of the forest and found a wirefence.
There was a road, and fields... I feeled human spirits in the distance.
Many of them. And their technology. I saw their cars on the road, their machines in their towns.

Who would have foreseen these feeble humans would master this world, aeons ago ?
And what is best, in spite of their power and technology and all, they are still as fearful as they were when we, Ye Old Ones, created them !

They're afraid of the future, of illness, of climate, and more than all, of their own race!

But they don't remember Us.

For them, Cthulhu, Ye Old Ones, Yog-Sothoth, Nyarlathotep, Azathoth and myself are only funny monsters in comics books and video games!

They even make fun of Us like this site: http://www.macguff.fr/goomi/unspeakable/vault00-cast.html

I'll get this goomi and make him respect Our Greatness!
Al Azred will look lucky compared to him!

Well... For now I really need human meat, now. Not much big animals in this forest. Guess these humans made them dwindle.

Back soon...

Time to wake up this blog...

2008-02-17T23:44:00.000+01:00

Not much to tell you for now... Feel a bit drowsy after these aeons sleeping...
Seems some of my followers didn't sleep: http://shub-niggurath.com

Must eat some animal meat before looking for human's... Back soon...