Pleasant Reading: Lusty Tales of Myself

Coming back to this blog after some Aeons, here is a review about the Martian Migraine Press anthology, Conqueror Womb: Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath.

Obviously, those feeble humans writers never had a sexual intercourse with Me or one of My Young, not even with a Shoggoth...
To be fair, if they had, they won't be still alive and able to write or speak about the experience.

So here are eighteen stories (plus one essay) for 18+ feeble humans. Yes, this anthology is as much erotica as horror, if One like Me could call feeble humans writings "horror".

So now, please, those of you who are not of age, please leave this page and go back to studies or to proper reading!

Let's state it: this book is too short. Most of those stories would have deserved a longer development, and/or a sequel, provided the protagonists are still alive.
But I guess in those hard crisis times (for which We, The Great Ol'Ones, have some responsiblities, always ready to make feeble humans lives more miserable!) a longer book would not fit in most budgets.

So let's list those feeble humans authors who dared to write about My sexual life:

THIS HUMAN FORM by Lyndsey Holder
THAT HIDEOUS THING by Ran Cartwright
UNSATISFIED by Brian M. Sammons
MATER ANNELIDA by Victoria Dalpe
The POTBOILER SIGIL by Luke R. J. Maynard
ALL THIS for the GREATER GLORY of the 7th and 329th CHILDREN of the BLACK GOAT of the WOODS by Molly Tanzer
BABYMAMA by Kenton Hall
OUR CHILD by Annabeth Leong
BOY by Don Webb
PIECES (2) for STRING OCTET by Copper Sloane Levy
The WHISPERER in the VAGINA by Shon Richards
OBSIDIAN CAPRA AEGAGRUS by Christopher Slatsky
DIRTYMAG by Jonas Moth
WITH HONEY DRIPPING by Christine Morgan
IN THE DOWN DEEP DOWN by Jacqueline Sweet
THE SCARLET SCRIPTURE by Ambrosius Grimes
WITHIN YOUR UNHOLY PIT OF SHOGGOTHS by Wilum H. Pugmire
BLOSSOM by Rose Banks

The CONQUEROR WOMB: PARSING SHUB-NIGGURATH essay by Scott R Jones

Most of these stories were a rather pleasant reading, though their authors didn't dare to go so far as this ol'timer of a French, Mr Marquis Sade (what a weird first name. Did I miss something in translation?).
I guess some are even hard enough to make most feeble humans readers ashamed of the arousing they'll feel when reading them!

As for the essay, it's rare a feeble human understand so well Our way to spread and ruin, accross history and generations.

Don't be surprised to find those authors (or some pieces of their ruined bodies) in My Woods, next time your pay Me a visit, willingly or (most probably) not!
And be sure it will be a great honor to them!

So, feeble humans mad enough to read this blog, if you want your suffering be shortened when I'll catch you in My Woods, buy and read this book!

Some More Aeons... And now is Mother's Day!

Is it Me, or Time is running quicker and quicker on this world ?
I just took a plunge into the Internet underground, no more than the time to get some skills and wreak some havoc. And a whole season seems to have passed.
Some of you may have felt My Scent on your systems...

The funny thing is, for once, I don't even have to lure feeble humans into doing My desires, they do it well alone!
This not so virtual world will crumble and break your real one, soon. Well before the Stars are really Right. Without any involvement from Us, not even Nyarlathotep!

I won't be sorry for you, feeble humans. you entirely deserved your fate.

You may think I'm bitter, you silly. Remember which day we are. Today is Mother's Day.
Don't you think having to receive, thank for, and find a place to store thousands of presents in a day is a simple task ?
I cannot even remember the firstnames of half of My Young!

If I could take a hold on the Essential Salts of the feeble human who invented this hellish feast, even the other Great Ol'Ones would pity his fate!

In related news, the storage space renting market is booming, near My Woods. One more financial bubble in the making for your doom, scummy feeble humans!

It seems some Aeons...

... Since I didn't update this blog.

Well... So much happened in so short a time. I had to take some rest, just looking at you, feeble humans. You are such a farce.

Oh, and I learned to play baseball, but I'm still too bad at catching this bloody ball.
I was about to smash my baseball bat on something, but the Stars are still not Right for this.

My dear Nyarly is still playing with His puppet, I wouldn't have believed this toy would entertain Him so long.

Spring Break will come soon, as well as the Cleaning accustomed of the Season. There will be much mess to Clean.

Feeling as sleepy as Great Cthulhu, but it won't last long, now.

Religion is the opium of the people

You, so-called masters of this world, but feeble humans nonetheless. You failed.

This silly movie insulting the Prophet fired a storm against you, in the very countries you helped.
And you wonder.
You'll never understand.
Those feeble humans toppling their dictators, what do they stand for ?
Democracy ? Freedom ? Ideology ? Or even mere money they don't have and will never ?
You helped them, foolishly believing they would become your slaves, or at least your allies.

No, they're just high on something you cannot encompass.
The ol'Wizard, Karl Marx was right. Only their shoot of opium will calm them! And nothing will prevent them to get it, this time. Up to the overdose.

You'll be glad When the Stars Are Right, in a way.

The Bashar is Still in Charge

The Arab Spring quickly rampaged some dictatorships. But the Butcher of Damascus still stands firm. Massacring and torturing at will. Some bad guys had their asses kicked by the UN for far less than that.
Syria has no petroleum, no gas, no uranium, no pipelines. Only geopolitical reasons could explain this. Or not.

Mainstream and conspirationist explanations are manyfold:

- Syria is an ally of Russia, and China. These countries are blocking UN actions against it.
- Syria is a secret ally of the West and Israel, to fight Iran.
- The West and Israel are objective allies of Arab (and other) dictatorships. Prefering stability and keeping the extremists at bay.
- The great powers love wars, to sell weapons and justify defense expenses.
- Al Assad is a reptilian king, as all the world leaders, dictators or not (I love this one!).

All this is bullshit.

WE, The Great Ol'Ones are supporting this butcher and puppeting the so called great powers to foster his regime.

Don't you see the pattern, here ?

- Mad Arabs, once more. It seems my Dear Nyarly is still fond of them.
- AL Hazred's Legacy. More to come on this, one of these Aeons.
- Fear, utter sufferance of the victims. Frightened and maddened souls are so tasty for Us.
- Oh yes, We have some secrets burried under the City of Jasmine We don't want you, feeble humans to find. At least not as long as the Stars are still not Right. Be patient, for once.

Feeble humans, you begun to play Chess for so short a time. You cannot even suspect the moves you are embroiled in.

Now for the Next Move...

Dark Times a'comin'

Elections on the so called "old continent".
Reminders of darker times.
Will they stand? Will they flee? Will they burn?
Stars almost Right, now!

For Whom the Bell Tolls?
Endless Grey going Dark.
Time Marches On.
Blackened, the Silence so loud!

What? Oh, a New Year?

Time's running too quick with you, feeble humans. I forgot My new year congratz, so here they are. Or not.
Hopefully, those young Maya were right and your new year will be the last. We, The Great Ol'Ones, don't really care. We have plenty of other toys in this Universe and others!

So, I owe you some explainations for My silence on this thingy, this blog, well...

Many things happened.

You know at thend of your December month, We, the Great Ol'Ones have a small fest, Yuletide. For once, We decided it would not be boredcasted, your TV streams are already full of shit to empty your smallish brains, you mindless mongrels.

So we had a private party, full of bloody living corpses, whores and chips.
I made a record there: got fucked by an astounding number of Cosmic Horrors, They even found some I didn't know yet. Thanks Boyz!
I fucked also a bunch of so called "male" entities. Remember, feeble humans, sex and gender are not an immutable parameter for Us, We don't have your moral and mental walls and prejudices.
I sprouted at least two full load of Young as a consequence. Be sure to bring your whole families when walking in the woods, during this spring; My Young will have to be fed!

As usual, January and this February were peaceful. Clean up, Young fostering, and reading.
While reading, I discovered a young fellow, of only a bit more than two hundred of your years: Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade.

Yes, he was one of those feeble among the feeble frenchies. But he almost made Me revise My views about your filthy race, feeble human maggots.

This guy knew the point. Pornography is not the goal, it's only a way (mostly backdoor in his case).
He didn't respect any law, any limit, so he spent more than half of his life in jail. Not for his sexual perversion, it was the norm of his class in his time, but for his ideas, his philosophy.

A guy writing about a monk putting an hostie on the top of his cock before fucking a teen girl in the ass; this was deemed a blasphemous crime deserving to be locked in the Bastille for the rest of his life, in those pre-revolutionary days, when the Catholic Church made the laws and had the state at her service.
But what stun Me, and surely upset the child fucker priests, was not this kind of action scenes.
Between the orgies (much) detailed descriptions, the good marquis set his characters to rest, and made them describe his philosophy views in great details, just like most of this time Enlightened Philosophers, those insipid Voltaire, Rousseau...

And THIS is really powerful!
Crime of any sort is common among you, feeble humans; remember you were created by some of Our spawns for Our pleasure!
But the good ol'marquis made a point describing, justifying, philosophically reasoning about these.

THAT was the reason which led him to spend most of his life in prisons or sanitariums, whereas the law was the King's, the Republic's or the Emperor's.

His views about private property, theft, society and moral were a draft for the following 19th century's utopist, anarchist, socialist and communist philosophers and ideologs.
Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, Louis Auguste Blanqui, and al. just followed the track.
All were French or French influenced Germans, see the pattern ?
And wonderful slaughters came from these guys brains!

The legend also tells that some days before July 14th, 1789, when he was imprisoned in the Bastille, good ol'Donatien de Sade cried to the people through his jail window: "Prisoners are killed, here!".
Some days after, the populace stormed the Bastille, and your smallish History recorded what followed.

During the Revolution, the excellent marquis was elected a Representant, he was emprisoned once more by Robespierre's Terror Regime because of his nobelty, freed when Napoleon came to power, then imprisoned again after the Emperor restored the former power of the Catholic Church.

Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade died on December 2nd, 1814. He didn't live up to the ultimate fall of his latest nemesis, before the one hundred bleak days.

But, according to the legend, he died just after having ass fucked his fifteen years old female servant one last time (if it had been a male, or a turkey, or a dog, it wouldn't have made any difference for him, provided he could eat his sperm mingled with shit afterward).
What a fucking wonder of a life, for a feeble human!

Oops! Writing about this made Me horny... Be right back after some Aeons of orgies!

Flu 4.0 Upgrade

These feeble humans are really crazy, or My Favourite Nyarly is once more at work.

And this is a good achievement!

Last time a sickness wiped out 50% of a feeble human population, it was in the middle ages, the Black Death.

Then the Spanish Flu.

Feeble humans knew from some times there would be a pandemic, and played with the fear of it.

Now, as it didn't come quick enough, they are engineering it! We, The Great Ol'Ones, never saw a race so eager to die!
My only fear, now, it's that We may lack of sacrificed human flesh and souls before The Stars are Right.

But well... We sure will enjoy the show!

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

Once more, reviews, as I have some Aeons to read, these days...

Spoiler: These are two stories more "polars" (French for Detective Story) than fantasy or horror. No Tentacled fellows here.

But, despite having no homage to Us, The Great Ol'Ones, these two short stories are a sweetness for a thriller loving reader, even voracious, to swallow.

Let's sum them up:
- A Pleasure To Burn: adventures could happen to any fuckin' tabloid hunter. Even meet the ghost of her prey. Rare to read such a complete psychology description of characters in so few pages. It calls for at least a sequel, better many of them.
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love: just a shot, it's enough to make a good story. Some hints could provide a looong sequel, full of sorcery and even some Tentacles. But the Author didn't need any kind of YogSothotheries. If some of you remember "Angel Heart", you may catch it, without needing a seated Devil.

These are only short samples of these to writing feeble humans. They have more in the pipe:
- A Pleasure To Burn, by David Bain
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love, by E. R. White, Jr.

These two guys brains deserve to be preserved in Fungi From Yuggoths Cylinders!

Berlusconi Out

Please, feeble humans, don't break My Nyarly's favorite puppet toy. He's inconsolable.
I agree, He played a bit too heavily with this one, and its country.

But, He didn't innovate much:
- Mafia was here for several centuries. Ok, Nyarly had some puppets in this venerable institution from the start...
- Bunga Bunga wasn't new, it was a favorite sport at least since the Rome emperors era. Sure, I had My share in this, at the time...
- Finance ? Do you think your petty country, even your petty continent, could wrestle with the Behemoths We use for Our monopoly games ?

So you see, feeble humans, you don't have any reason to hurt this puppet in particular. Switch on your TV, and go fetch the one your media show to your wrath. After Gaddafi, El Hassad.

And let Us play with Our toys.

Don't worry, he'll be back soon for your pleasure.

Gates of Yog Sothoth

Feeble humans, you must know about the Gates guarded by Yog Sothoth.
Those few of you who read the Books, and survived, know these Gates are leading to other Dimensions and far away Spaces.
But none among you understood what these Gates really are, and where They are.
Most of you imagine They are far away, out of reach for you, terrestrial worms.

Fools you are. Yog Sothoth is the Key, Yog Sothoth is the Gate, Yog Sothoth is the Guardian of the Gates.
Which terrestrian location has more Gates than any other ?
My Preferred Lover, Nyarlathotep, told you how to build them, for your demise and your torment, but you didn't understand and love them.
They are near you, They will bring your doom, and you open and close Them daily.

Soon, you won't be able to close Them anymore.

They are there, under your scummy palms, under your dirty keyboards, right in the guts of your so loved devices.

Your designers and engineers are so proud of their work. These fools don't feel the Will of Nyarlathotep in their petty minds.

Expect some mishap with the next ones you'll buy, so shiny, so powerful.

You didn't go to the Gates, the Gates are going to you. The Lurker on the Threshold will catch you soon.

WWI Celebration

They were told they'll fight for their nations
They were told it would be easy
War in Summer could only be happy
They went with flowers stuck in their guns
Promising their brides they would soon be back for the wedding
Only a matter of days or weeks at worst.

It lasted more than four years.
Many were killed, the other came back with scars in their flesh or in their mind
And missing limbs
And Whippoorwills took their spirit meal up to being obese.

First Winter, Ithaqua took His first, as their clothes weren't suited.
Weapons did the rest
And Spanish Flu afterward.

And as the Last of the Last, it missed the point.
Nyarlathotep barely needed to push those feeble humans killing each other.

They were told they'll fight for their nations
But the profit was for weapons companies.

What a wonder for Us, The Great Ol'Ones!

Shoggoths Rising!

Doom is near at last, feeble humans!

You started the global warming (well, My lover Nyarly pushed you a bit).
And now, it's running on its own.
Nothing will stop it, now.

Don't worry, feeble humans, you'll never be cold anymore.
Shoggoths will provide you the warmth you like so much in winter.

And more than you can stand.

By the way, you won't need cosmetics, neither. Not a bad thing these days, with your economic hardships.

Easy as acid licking by a Shoggoth won't let much skin on your bones!

Earthquakes to come

I told you so.
Shudde M'ell was really upset our G20 taking place in submediterranean waters.
He doesn't like water.

So now this

And surely more to come. Elsewhere. No feeble human science can predict.

G20: Conclusion

So long, European Democracy...
... And thanks for all the ruins.

Finally, the Greek people's opinion won't count.
After the Greek, the Latin. We're back in old good times.
The Barbarians will soon sweep the ol'continent.
And no Unique God to save the day, this time!

To compensate the failure of the feeble humans G20, Ours was a tremendous success.
New plans and plots.
Doom is at end for you, insects!

Stay tuned as We, The Great Ol'Ones won't sleep long, now. Some of you already feel the grip of Our tentacles!

G20 Screwed!

Opening The Great Ol'Ones G20, Our Great Sultan Azathoth began his speech praising each of My Youths, INDIVIDUALY: "I hope you'll look more like Your Mother than like Your Father".

As you love so-called "super-computers", feeble humans, I let you compute how many eaons this allocution will last!

So don't expect more solutions from this G20 than for the feeble humans'!

That's the issue of having such an Idiot God as master of ceremony...

G20 Boycott!

Shudde M'ell and His Cthonians have just announced they will boycott our Great Ol'Ones' G20.

Well... The Organization made a mistake, when choosing the location: under the water in front of Cannes. Doh!

Be sure some earthquake will happen soon as fair retaliations.

Economic Crisis: The Solution

Crisis in Europe, and soon the world economy will be in ruin...
Seven billion feeble human, a nightmare to nourish...
Stock markets plummeted...
G20 won't help...

Fortunately for you, feeble humans, I have a solution!

It's time for Me to start a new business, so here is an appeal to all feeble human males:
Give Me your semen!
I need it to produce the biggest bunch of Youths ever!

Where to do your gift ? Simple: come to the darkest woods in your vicinity, My Youths and some Shoggoths entirely devoted to My Service are always lurking there, and will gracefully receive it.

Between, prepare to let part or whole of your feeble flesh, too.
But, hey ? That is a small price to pay to restore your crumbling economy, isn't it ?

Imagine your world freed from your filthy presence, no more food or job problems. Only My Youths roaming, copulating, and feeding.
And don't worry, obesity will never be a problem for them!

Moreover, there will be real benefits:
- No more global warming. Except when We invite Our cousin Cthugha from Fomalhaut.
- More CO2 eating forests. You can win from bonus on carbon market, err... which market ?
- Fostering Shoggoths is a wonder for petroleum prospection. Well... no cars anymore, also, but it's the favourite drink of Many of Us. The next soda killer.
- No more real estate crisis.
- Inflation ? You need currencies for that.
Etc.

The only loser will be the weapon industry, as We, The Great Ol'Ones, don't need any weapons.

So come back to reason, feeble humans, and before leaving this world, do something useful, once in your petty live!

G20 ?

Oh! I almost forgot this.

There's an underground summit, too. You know ? Near the official one, just below the tide limit of Cannes beaches, where no camera nor starlett would dare to put a limb (or lose it in action).

Just time to pack, and I'll be there with all My favourite Great Ol'Lovers!

Prepare for wonderous outcome!

She's Got The Jack!

Made some Lanterns yesterday, with real feeble humans heads. Pumpkins are for weenies!

And no, I won't post pictures here. To see them you'll have to come to one of My dwellings in the dark woods of your neighbourhood.
Come, come, feeble humans!

By the way...
Special news break for Europeans: please hurry, I'm not fond of skinny meat.
As it seems your old place is about to become a crumbling desert, and the survivors forced to work day and night in Chinese labor camps, your obesity problems will be solved soon.
Fortunately, Americans still have some money to be stuffed in fast foods, and even if they fall, others will take the place, too.

Irony striked again, the craddle of your civilization is pushing you in the pit.
But well... Parthenon was a ruin for some millenia, already. What did you expect of that ?