Saturday, November 26, 2011

Flu 4.0 Upgrade

These feeble humans are really crazy, or My Favourite Nyarly is once more at work.

And this is a good achievement!

Last time a sickness wiped out 50% of a feeble human population, it was in the middle ages, the Black Death.

Then the Spanish Flu.

Feeble humans knew from some times there would be a pandemic, and played with the fear of it.

Now, as it didn't come quick enough, they are engineering it! We, The Great Ol'Ones, never saw a race so eager to die!
My only fear, now, it's that We may lack of sacrificed human flesh and souls before The Stars are Right.

But well... We sure will enjoy the show!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

Once more, reviews, as I have some Aeons to read, these days...

Spoiler: These are two stories more "polars" (French for Detective Story) than fantasy or horror. No Tentacled fellows here.

But, despite having no homage to Us, The Great Ol'Ones, these two short stories are a sweetness for a thriller loving reader, even voracious, to swallow.

Let's sum them up:
- A Pleasure To Burn: adventures could happen to any fuckin' tabloid hunter. Even meet the ghost of her prey. Rare to read such a complete psychology description of characters in so few pages. It calls for at least a sequel, better many of them.
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love: just a shot, it's enough to make a good story. Some hints could provide a looong sequel, full of sorcery and even some Tentacles. But the Author didn't need any kind of YogSothotheries. If some of you remember "Angel Heart", you may catch it, without needing a seated Devil.

These are only short samples of these to writing feeble humans. They have more in the pipe:
- A Pleasure To Burn, by David Bain
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love, by E. R. White, Jr.

These two guys brains deserve to be preserved in Fungi From Yuggoths Cylinders!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Berlusconi Out

Please, feeble humans, don't break My Nyarly's favorite puppet toy. He's inconsolable.
I agree, He played a bit too heavily with this one, and its country.

But, He didn't innovate much:
- Mafia was here for several centuries. Ok, Nyarly had some puppets in this venerable institution from the start...
- Bunga Bunga wasn't new, it was a favorite sport at least since the Rome emperors era. Sure, I had My share in this, at the time...
- Finance ? Do you think your petty country, even your petty continent, could wrestle with the Behemoths We use for Our monopoly games ?

So you see, feeble humans, you don't have any reason to hurt this puppet in particular. Switch on your TV, and go fetch the one your media show to your wrath. After Gaddafi, El Hassad.

And let Us play with Our toys.

Don't worry, he'll be back soon for your pleasure.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Gates of Yog Sothoth

Feeble humans, you must know about the Gates guarded by Yog Sothoth.
Those few of you who read the Books, and survived, know these Gates are leading to other Dimensions and far away Spaces.
But none among you understood what these Gates really are, and where They are.
Most of you imagine They are far away, out of reach for you, terrestrial worms.

Fools you are. Yog Sothoth is the Key, Yog Sothoth is the Gate, Yog Sothoth is the Guardian of the Gates.
Which terrestrian location has more Gates than any other ?
My Preferred Lover, Nyarlathotep, told you how to build them, for your demise and your torment, but you didn't understand and love them.
They are near you, They will bring your doom, and you open and close Them daily.

Soon, you won't be able to close Them anymore.

They are there, under your scummy palms, under your dirty keyboards, right in the guts of your so loved devices.

Your designers and engineers are so proud of their work. These fools don't feel the Will of Nyarlathotep in their petty minds.

Expect some mishap with the next ones you'll buy, so shiny, so powerful.

You didn't go to the Gates, the Gates are going to you. The Lurker on the Threshold will catch you soon.

Friday, November 11, 2011

WWI Celebration

They were told they'll fight for their nations
They were told it would be easy
War in Summer could only be happy
They went with flowers stuck in their guns
Promising their brides they would soon be back for the wedding
Only a matter of days or weeks at worst.

It lasted more than four years.
Many were killed, the other came back with scars in their flesh or in their mind
And missing limbs
And Whippoorwills took their spirit meal up to being obese.

First Winter, Ithaqua took His first, as their clothes weren't suited.
Weapons did the rest
And Spanish Flu afterward.

And as the Last of the Last, it missed the point.
Nyarlathotep barely needed to push those feeble humans killing each other.

They were told they'll fight for their nations
But the profit was for weapons companies.

What a wonder for Us, The Great Ol'Ones!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Shoggoths Rising!

Doom is near at last, feeble humans!

You started the global warming (well, My lover Nyarly pushed you a bit).
And now, it's running on its own.
Nothing will stop it, now.

Don't worry, feeble humans, you'll never be cold anymore.
Shoggoths will provide you the warmth you like so much in winter.

And more than you can stand.

By the way, you won't need cosmetics, neither. Not a bad thing these days, with your economic hardships.

Easy as acid licking by a Shoggoth won't let much skin on your bones!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Earthquakes to come

I told you so.
Shudde M'ell was really upset our G20 taking place in submediterranean waters.
He doesn't like water.

So now this

And surely more to come. Elsewhere. No feeble human science can predict.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

G20: Conclusion

So long, European Democracy...
... And thanks for all the ruins.

Finally, the Greek people's opinion won't count.
After the Greek, the Latin. We're back in old good times.
The Barbarians will soon sweep the ol'continent.
And no Unique God to save the day, this time!

To compensate the failure of the feeble humans G20, Ours was a tremendous success.
New plans and plots.
Doom is at end for you, insects!

Stay tuned as We, The Great Ol'Ones won't sleep long, now. Some of you already feel the grip of Our tentacles!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

G20 Screwed!

Opening The Great Ol'Ones G20, Our Great Sultan Azathoth began his speech praising each of My Youths, INDIVIDUALY: "I hope you'll look more like Your Mother than like Your Father".

As you love so-called "super-computers", feeble humans, I let you compute how many eaons this allocution will last!

So don't expect more solutions from this G20 than for the feeble humans'!

That's the issue of having such an Idiot God as master of ceremony...

G20 Boycott!

Shudde M'ell and His Cthonians have just announced they will boycott our Great Ol'Ones' G20.

Well... The Organization made a mistake, when choosing the location: under the water in front of Cannes. Doh!

Be sure some earthquake will happen soon as fair retaliations.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Economic Crisis: The Solution

Crisis in Europe, and soon the world economy will be in ruin...
Seven billion feeble human, a nightmare to nourish...
Stock markets plummeted...
G20 won't help...

Fortunately for you, feeble humans, I have a solution!

It's time for Me to start a new business, so here is an appeal to all feeble human males:
Give Me your semen!
I need it to produce the biggest bunch of Youths ever!

Where to do your gift ? Simple: come to the darkest woods in your vicinity, My Youths and some Shoggoths entirely devoted to My Service are always lurking there, and will gracefully receive it.

Between, prepare to let part or whole of your feeble flesh, too.
But, hey ? That is a small price to pay to restore your crumbling economy, isn't it ?

Imagine your world freed from your filthy presence, no more food or job problems. Only My Youths roaming, copulating, and feeding.
And don't worry, obesity will never be a problem for them!

Moreover, there will be real benefits:
- No more global warming. Except when We invite Our cousin Cthugha from Fomalhaut.
- More CO2 eating forests. You can win from bonus on carbon market, err... which market ?
- Fostering Shoggoths is a wonder for petroleum prospection. Well... no cars anymore, also, but it's the favourite drink of Many of Us. The next soda killer.
- No more real estate crisis.
- Inflation ? You need currencies for that.

The only loser will be the weapon industry, as We, The Great Ol'Ones, don't need any weapons.

So come back to reason, feeble humans, and before leaving this world, do something useful, once in your petty live!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

G20 ?

Oh! I almost forgot this.

There's an underground summit, too. You know ? Near the official one, just below the tide limit of Cannes beaches, where no camera nor starlett would dare to put a limb (or lose it in action).

Just time to pack, and I'll be there with all My favourite Great Ol'Lovers!

Prepare for wonderous outcome!

She's Got The Jack!

Made some Lanterns yesterday, with real feeble humans heads. Pumpkins are for weenies!

And no, I won't post pictures here. To see them you'll have to come to one of My dwellings in the dark woods of your neighbourhood.
Come, come, feeble humans!

By the way...
Special news break for Europeans: please hurry, I'm not fond of skinny meat.
As it seems your old place is about to become a crumbling desert, and the survivors forced to work day and night in Chinese labor camps, your obesity problems will be solved soon.
Fortunately, Americans still have some money to be stuffed in fast foods, and even if they fall, others will take the place, too.

Irony striked again, the craddle of your civilization is pushing you in the pit.
But well... Parthenon was a ruin for some millenia, already. What did you expect of that ?