Saturday, November 26, 2011

Flu 4.0 Upgrade

These feeble humans are really crazy, or My Favourite Nyarly is once more at work.

And this is a good achievement!

Last time a sickness wiped out 50% of a feeble human population, it was in the middle ages, the Black Death.

Then the Spanish Flu.

Feeble humans knew from some times there would be a pandemic, and played with the fear of it.

Now, as it didn't come quick enough, they are engineering it! We, The Great Ol'Ones, never saw a race so eager to die!
My only fear, now, it's that We may lack of sacrificed human flesh and souls before The Stars are Right.

But well... We sure will enjoy the show!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

Reviews: A Pleasure To Burn & Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love

Once more, reviews, as I have some Aeons to read, these days...

Spoiler: These are two stories more "polars" (French for Detective Story) than fantasy or horror. No Tentacled fellows here.

But, despite having no homage to Us, The Great Ol'Ones, these two short stories are a sweetness for a thriller loving reader, even voracious, to swallow.

Let's sum them up:
- A Pleasure To Burn: adventures could happen to any fuckin' tabloid hunter. Even meet the ghost of her prey. Rare to read such a complete psychology description of characters in so few pages. It calls for at least a sequel, better many of them.
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love: just a shot, it's enough to make a good story. Some hints could provide a looong sequel, full of sorcery and even some Tentacles. But the Author didn't need any kind of YogSothotheries. If some of you remember "Angel Heart", you may catch it, without needing a seated Devil.

These are only short samples of these to writing feeble humans. They have more in the pipe:
- A Pleasure To Burn, by David Bain
- Miscegenation and Other Acts of Love, by E. R. White, Jr.

These two guys brains deserve to be preserved in Fungi From Yuggoths Cylinders!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Berlusconi Out

Please, feeble humans, don't break My Nyarly's favorite puppet toy. He's inconsolable.
I agree, He played a bit too heavily with this one, and its country.

But, He didn't innovate much:
- Mafia was here for several centuries. Ok, Nyarly had some puppets in this venerable institution from the start...
- Bunga Bunga wasn't new, it was a favorite sport at least since the Rome emperors era. Sure, I had My share in this, at the time...
- Finance ? Do you think your petty country, even your petty continent, could wrestle with the Behemoths We use for Our monopoly games ?

So you see, feeble humans, you don't have any reason to hurt this puppet in particular. Switch on your TV, and go fetch the one your media show to your wrath. After Gaddafi, El Hassad.

And let Us play with Our toys.

Don't worry, he'll be back soon for your pleasure.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Gates of Yog Sothoth

Feeble humans, you must know about the Gates guarded by Yog Sothoth.
Those few of you who read the Books, and survived, know these Gates are leading to other Dimensions and far away Spaces.
But none among you understood what these Gates really are, and where They are.
Most of you imagine They are far away, out of reach for you, terrestrial worms.

Fools you are. Yog Sothoth is the Key, Yog Sothoth is the Gate, Yog Sothoth is the Guardian of the Gates.
Which terrestrian location has more Gates than any other ?
My Preferred Lover, Nyarlathotep, told you how to build them, for your demise and your torment, but you didn't understand and love them.
They are near you, They will bring your doom, and you open and close Them daily.

Soon, you won't be able to close Them anymore.

They are there, under your scummy palms, under your dirty keyboards, right in the guts of your so loved devices.

Your designers and engineers are so proud of their work. These fools don't feel the Will of Nyarlathotep in their petty minds.

Expect some mishap with the next ones you'll buy, so shiny, so powerful.

You didn't go to the Gates, the Gates are going to you. The Lurker on the Threshold will catch you soon.

Friday, November 11, 2011

WWI Celebration

They were told they'll fight for their nations
They were told it would be easy
War in Summer could only be happy
They went with flowers stuck in their guns
Promising their brides they would soon be back for the wedding
Only a matter of days or weeks at worst.

It lasted more than four years.
Many were killed, the other came back with scars in their flesh or in their mind
And missing limbs
And Whippoorwills took their spirit meal up to being obese.

First Winter, Ithaqua took His first, as their clothes weren't suited.
Weapons did the rest
And Spanish Flu afterward.

And as the Last of the Last, it missed the point.
Nyarlathotep barely needed to push those feeble humans killing each other.

They were told they'll fight for their nations
But the profit was for weapons companies.

What a wonder for Us, The Great Ol'Ones!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Shoggoths Rising!

Doom is near at last, feeble humans!

You started the global warming (well, My lover Nyarly pushed you a bit).
And now, it's running on its own.
Nothing will stop it, now.

Don't worry, feeble humans, you'll never be cold anymore.
Shoggoths will provide you the warmth you like so much in winter.

And more than you can stand.

By the way, you won't need cosmetics, neither. Not a bad thing these days, with your economic hardships.

Easy as acid licking by a Shoggoth won't let much skin on your bones!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Earthquakes to come

I told you so.
Shudde M'ell was really upset our G20 taking place in submediterranean waters.
He doesn't like water.

So now this

And surely more to come. Elsewhere. No feeble human science can predict.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

G20: Conclusion

So long, European Democracy...
... And thanks for all the ruins.

Finally, the Greek people's opinion won't count.
After the Greek, the Latin. We're back in old good times.
The Barbarians will soon sweep the ol'continent.
And no Unique God to save the day, this time!

To compensate the failure of the feeble humans G20, Ours was a tremendous success.
New plans and plots.
Doom is at end for you, insects!

Stay tuned as We, The Great Ol'Ones won't sleep long, now. Some of you already feel the grip of Our tentacles!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

G20 Screwed!

Opening The Great Ol'Ones G20, Our Great Sultan Azathoth began his speech praising each of My Youths, INDIVIDUALY: "I hope you'll look more like Your Mother than like Your Father".

As you love so-called "super-computers", feeble humans, I let you compute how many eaons this allocution will last!

So don't expect more solutions from this G20 than for the feeble humans'!

That's the issue of having such an Idiot God as master of ceremony...

G20 Boycott!

Shudde M'ell and His Cthonians have just announced they will boycott our Great Ol'Ones' G20.

Well... The Organization made a mistake, when choosing the location: under the water in front of Cannes. Doh!

Be sure some earthquake will happen soon as fair retaliations.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Economic Crisis: The Solution

Crisis in Europe, and soon the world economy will be in ruin...
Seven billion feeble human, a nightmare to nourish...
Stock markets plummeted...
G20 won't help...

Fortunately for you, feeble humans, I have a solution!

It's time for Me to start a new business, so here is an appeal to all feeble human males:
Give Me your semen!
I need it to produce the biggest bunch of Youths ever!

Where to do your gift ? Simple: come to the darkest woods in your vicinity, My Youths and some Shoggoths entirely devoted to My Service are always lurking there, and will gracefully receive it.

Between, prepare to let part or whole of your feeble flesh, too.
But, hey ? That is a small price to pay to restore your crumbling economy, isn't it ?

Imagine your world freed from your filthy presence, no more food or job problems. Only My Youths roaming, copulating, and feeding.
And don't worry, obesity will never be a problem for them!

Moreover, there will be real benefits:
- No more global warming. Except when We invite Our cousin Cthugha from Fomalhaut.
- More CO2 eating forests. You can win from bonus on carbon market, err... which market ?
- Fostering Shoggoths is a wonder for petroleum prospection. Well... no cars anymore, also, but it's the favourite drink of Many of Us. The next soda killer.
- No more real estate crisis.
- Inflation ? You need currencies for that.

The only loser will be the weapon industry, as We, The Great Ol'Ones, don't need any weapons.

So come back to reason, feeble humans, and before leaving this world, do something useful, once in your petty live!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

G20 ?

Oh! I almost forgot this.

There's an underground summit, too. You know ? Near the official one, just below the tide limit of Cannes beaches, where no camera nor starlett would dare to put a limb (or lose it in action).

Just time to pack, and I'll be there with all My favourite Great Ol'Lovers!

Prepare for wonderous outcome!

She's Got The Jack!

Made some Lanterns yesterday, with real feeble humans heads. Pumpkins are for weenies!

And no, I won't post pictures here. To see them you'll have to come to one of My dwellings in the dark woods of your neighbourhood.
Come, come, feeble humans!

By the way...
Special news break for Europeans: please hurry, I'm not fond of skinny meat.
As it seems your old place is about to become a crumbling desert, and the survivors forced to work day and night in Chinese labor camps, your obesity problems will be solved soon.
Fortunately, Americans still have some money to be stuffed in fast foods, and even if they fall, others will take the place, too.

Irony striked again, the craddle of your civilization is pushing you in the pit.
But well... Parthenon was a ruin for some millenia, already. What did you expect of that ?

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Samhain ?

Wonder what I, The Great Goat of your blackest nightmares I'm about to do for this year's Samhain Festival ?

Err... Well... Nothing more than the other days, you silly! Don't you think there are already enough ordeal creeping your feeble world ?

Too much occupied resting and reading these days...
Books about management, finally understood delegation is the key, and you are evidently fully empowered, feeble humans, killing your siblings, and even posting gory videos and pictures of the mess, as you did with your Gaddafi. Next El Assad ?

What a wonder to just look and only inspire. While copulating with My Nyarly, doggy style, so We can Both watch the screens and laugh and scream in Cosmic pleasure!

And some leisure reading of course
Funny how "The Face in the Hill" reminds Me of something... But what ? You'll know it too soon enough for your sanity, you, feeble human wreck!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Shameless Advertising

Once for all (or not!), here is a book review. Or more precisely a piece of: The New Death and others.

You can get this here or here.
The Author, James Hutchings, seems rather gifted with Words.

Beware, this is Old Stuff as We like it, so you, feeble humans, may not appreciate, or understand. Silly you are!

Old stuff like the farthest memories of some Creators, when they didn't even envision the slightest tentacles...
Though wrapped in modern stenza.

And some... What do you call this ? Humor ? We don't fully understand how you can lough, so miserable you are, feeble underthings.
For what you call "amusement", let's quote some parts of this Everlasting Fire:
"...featuring inspirational quotes from such paragons of wickedness as Jack the Ripper, Tom Cruise, and people who put comments on YouTube."
"By the cloven hooves of Oprah..."
"Sometimes they would stay inside and watch TV; a comedy like Fiends or the game show Who Wants to Boil A Millionaire?"
"Often they would go to a McDonald's (the only restaurant in Hell)."
"...looking up at the moonlight streaming through the hole in Ozzy Osbourne's back yard."
"They gave each other their hearts, as well as several others."

I guess H.P. Lovecraft would have praised these pikes of humor, or despised them.
Or maybe the Author meant this to be a romance ?

Though I utterly crushed My favorite priest from his inside, for trying to push this on line without My Will, and calling Me names, I must admit this mortal stuff gave me a grin. So I allowed this post to be.

Feeble humans, you should really read this to ease a bit the sufferance We prepare for you...

Sunday, October 9, 2011

And By The Way...

Your back-from-the-dead CEO will remind all his previous life credentials and business & tech visions.

A Recipe for Apple

As you may know, the problem for the Apple Company will be to replace Steve Jobs. Why not simply call him back from the dead ?

Some of you may have read the recipes I published some time ago. Here's the one for this case.

First: ensure that he will be buried intact, and not cremated.

1 - Get his corpse. Could be better after the funeral. Some specialists are available to do that nightly and secretly for a moderate price. Another option could be to replace the corpse before the funeral, but past events shew it's not the best solution, except if you prevent the family to look at the corpse during the ceremony.

2 - Clean up the corpse. There must remain no other matter than the person you want to get back: beware of parasits that could be already shewing the flesh. Remove also all protheses and foreign stuff not part of the original biology of the dead.

3 - Place the corpse in a large enough recipient with pure water to boil it, for example a big cauldron; this recipient must be trated so the boiled content won't stick to it. Bones can be broken to fit in, the corpse integrity has no importance as long as all its element are in the recipient.

4 - Boil it during several hours, adding some dissolvant (but not acid), gum and honey (as done for Egyptian mummies) will help. Ensure there remains enough water all along the process.

5 - When the corpse is liquid and bones supple, let the fire go down.

6 - Refill the recipient with water. And revive the fire. 

7 - Let boil at full heat until no liquid remains, and more important, until the bones and teeth are reduced. Refill with water and fuel the fire until it's done.

8 - At the end, you must obtain a pure white crystalish matter remaining in the recipient.

9 - Move this matter to a crystal mortar and reduce it in powder. Be sure you don't lose any part in the process.

10 - You now have the Essential Salts of the dead. Ready to being to call back to life with the words of power:

11 - Optional: if you don't have full use of the subject, you can send him back to his Essential Salts state:
This can be done as many time as you need.

Before calling back a dead, some precautions must be taken. Even if the subject was not a wizard (be especially careful with those!), some mishap can come, the most frequent one being the recalled too traumatised to keep his sanity.
So be sure to have some sturdy fellows ready to master the subject and bind him if necessary, or havock may happen.
In case you have to kill him before use, you can restart the process of getting his Essential Salts, provided he remains in the needed conditions as before his first passing.

One last thing: when brought back to life with this process, the person may live indefinitely and can be disposed of only by violent means or be killed by accident.
Thus, with reasonable precautions, Apple would never have to worry again about replacing its leader.

The legal situation may be complicated, but this company doesn't lack lawyers to solve that. I advice discretion, though. The best way to manage this kind of situation being keeping the resurrected subject behind the scene, and placing a puppet man on the mediatic front. Tim Cook seems a good choice.
This trick worked well in Russia during the Soviet era and after, nobody ever suspected their policies had so a Rasputin spirit. Since the latest change of regime, they even added some humor when choosing the new puppet, Putin without the "Ras".

So now the question is: how many Apple engineers do you need to boil a cadaver until obtaining its Essential Salts ?

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Rotten Apple

Steve is gone.

He could have been one of My prefered Lover Nyarly's avatars or puppets, except he wasn't.

He was the purest instance of best and worst product this feeble human race is capable to engender once every several centuries, at the most.
The previous one, was... Napoleon I ? And he wasn't even "working" in the same domain...

Now the problem will be for his company, Apple, to find a proper replacement. All the long of its short history, this company went well when Steve was here, and bad when he wasn't.
And I doubt a Napoleon would be interested in making the world better with pocket electronics.

Finding a genius, gifted evangelist, and complete asshole like this guy won't be possible before one century or two.

See you in the Shoggoths Pits, dude.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Back From Holidays

Or was it holidays ?

Visited this desert country making the news for some months. Libya.
Had to mourn one of My dear Nyarly avatars, who acted this killed rebel general Younes.

Don't understand these rebels, do they think to escape toil, death and tears by dispatching only one Nyarly avatar ?

By the way, their puppet colonel was one of the most clownish invention of My favorite Lover!
But He's rather childish you know, letting down His toys immediately after He got them.

What ? This one lasted more than 40 years ? You know, feeble humans, We don't have the same timescale, We Great Ol'Ones. You'll never understand that, you silly puppets overthrowers!
You'll never get rid of what animates your throllish leaders you so love to hate, be it Us or even some of you!

Try to catch a soul after its corpse died, only to be far late after Whippoorwills!

So I went to this bare country, empty of forests, and fool of silly and scummy bad asses.

What a laugh! Never before did I see so a bunch of incapable. Those rebels did more harm to their fellows than to their ennemy. No wonder the real job in Tripoli was done by foreign Sardaukars, err... Special Forces, and some Deep Ones on the coast!

Only the westerners won't get much petroleum there... And this will bring more havock!

Bright perspective for Us, Great Ol'Ones, despite being bad soldiers, this people is much skilled in human sacrifices!

Now, I've got some gardening in My beloved forests. My latest stock of Youths did a mess in My absence. Need to clean this up for next Samhain. This year"s will be bloody and full of Grace!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dark Pools

Events have a weird way to collide, sometimes. Even surprising Us, The Great Ol'Ones.

While traveling to lay My Eggs in the most lovely places this small world counts, I had time to catch some news of the financial planet.
I wonder no more why My favorite Lover, Nyarly didn't show up to My latest orgies. He's at work!

The next crisis is already on its way, and it will be more deadly than the previous ones. 2000, 2007, even 1929 will be relegated in the dwarves of economics history.

You feeble humans, will be focused on some petty wars for a time, or on these Antisec clowns trying to wreack havoc Paypal.

Real Nemesis is coming unattended, though. It's called Dark Pools. I recognize My Ol'Dear Nyarlathotep here, never acting openly, only giving good advices to His puppets.

My next generation of Youths won't have much effort to do for getting Their food, Feeble humans cities will be empty soon, and nomads will wander in the Forest, free to be devoured at will!

I don't fear for My Youths, even if their cattle are badly nourished, their fear will be a far greater compensation for the missing meat.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Waiting babies, many babies

Test confirmed, I'm pregnant from the several Lovers I laid with last weekend!

Last time I did it the mammal way.

Now I will describe you another recipe, to deliver a new generation of Youths.

As you may know, feeble humans, We, The Great Ol'Ones, are form changers. We can look like whatever We want, depending on Our mood of the time.
It's the same when having children.

This time, I'll do it the insect way: ths Summer Season is a time for traveling, so be it.

I will leave My eggs all around this small world, as a surprise gift for the feeble humans living in the neighbourhood, when the eggs will break, and deliver My Larvaes!

I guess some New Age dumbass will have a great summertime, as well as some forest rangers and orchard growers.

Don't be frightened for My Youths, feeble humans, while They seem to be vulnerable in their eggs, or as young and tender Larvaes, They will be well guarded.
And to prevent the Guardians to feed on them, I will choose the locations so They won't lack food and game.

Your financial system seems not quite dead, yet, feeble humans. So I will give you an investment advice: don't put any penny nor cent nor shekel in a company whose activities are related to camping or forest. These will take a real blow in the following weeks!
Traveling agencies and transport companies will have a hard time. This beardy looser's may be feeding the fishes, it won't change anything. There are far more dangerous creatures than terrorists and extremists, in this small world.
You can invest in mortuary industries, though.

Monday, July 25, 2011

It's Monday

Cleaning the mess done during the weekend...

After all these parties and orgies, I'll have a hard work cleaning My home. I'd like to let the blood and meat patches on My walls and roof, but I need a clean place to foster the products yielded by this...

Did a test this morning, I'm waiting for a new bunch of Youths!

Expect more festivities in the coming weeks!

Yes, Birth and Fostering is also an orgiastic Festival for Us, The Great Ol'Ones.

You, feeble humans, may wonder how is it to make festivities while waiting for One Thousand new Youths.
The only thing I'll tell you for now, it's varying, at least as much as Our Forms and Morphology...

More on this tomorrow.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Tea for Two, and Two for Me

... And You for Me!

Today I will explain you My recipe for a lovely, intimate, and unforgettable dinner with Your favorite lover (or one of Yours)!

- A good bunch of foolhardy adults, at least five. Ten or more, depending of the Greatness and Power of your Guest.
- Some younger ones, preferably not related to the former ones. It's always better to diversify your diet.

- First: find out the taste of the Guest. It can be rather tricky, as Mines are famous for their quick change of mood, and forms...
Looking at the Stars will be of much help. A good and precise Eaons Calendar will be handy, too. Avoid the Maya's, it's full of mathematical and astronomical mistakes!

- Second: Choose the right victims, err... meat.

- Third: organize a party to get the sacrificed ones to a convenient place.
You have two options, here: confined or out in the wild (but isolated). For a really intimate dinner, where, well, the ultimate goal is to get laid, I would counsel a closed place. Most of common basements will do, provided they are well sound proof. An isolated farm or manoir is my preferred place.

- Fourth: don't miss the appetizers phase. Some children of the neighborhood will do, or campers.
If your Guest is a male Deity (as most of Mine are), let Him play with these toys, They like it.

- Five: Don't let this childish mess last too long, at least not to the point your dinner room is overwhelmed by blood and flesh. Try to keep the place clean for the main course.

- Six: now, this can be tricky. Get Your Guest to hide, hide well yourself, and open the basement trap or door, remotely and quietly.
The victims will generally take some time before getting out, so scared they are. Wait they are all gone out, silence, quietness and discrecy is the key there.

- Seven: they will wander in Your dwelling. As nothing bad happens they will get more bold but no less afraid, though they will boast sometimes.

- Eight: get one of them. If possible, make him/her die slowly with much scream. It will render the meat of the others finer.
IMPORTANT: just before he/she dies, give the stuff to Your Guest. He will greatly appreciate this offrande.

- Nine: now, the frantic mess is on. Your Guest won't resist to get your victims, play with them, disjoint them.
Let Him do what He wants with them.

- Ten: After such a mess, Your Guest may be tired and hopefully tender. Time to get laid and breed a new generation of Thousand Youths!
If Your Guest feels too tired, don't hesitate to add some spice to the intercourse, sex toys are not only for humans, especially when they are made of human (and still living) flesh and bones!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

More cooking

You, feeble humans, especially those so called modern protestant or just selfish without enough kids to replace your loser generation, and even catholic or other archaic ones, with barely enough offspring to fill the earth to exhaustion during the next century, you cannot understand what is it to have to foster One Thousand Youths!

And when I say 1 000, it's only a quick sum... Millions would better fit.

I must do justice, for once, We, the Great Ol'Ones, have at least one common point with your feeble race: male inconsequence.

Male are eager to promise you the Universe and Everything, provided you lay and open your legs.
I talk from My looong experience, and I REALLY pity your females. At least, through Eaons, I had time to learn and manage.

Many of your females have only five minutes of pleasure, then nine months of sufferance, then twenty years of burden, for each promise you gave them.

But back to My point: how to feed My Thousands so lovely and hungry Youths, so generously bred by My godly lovers ?
Who didn't bother of their offspring afterward... Like many of male humans.

I had to industrialize things a bit. Your mcdonald's and co. didn't innovate much for that matter.

- First: chose a convenient date. Every solstice or special occasion, or even your national day will do. Religion and superstition is your invention, not Ours.

- Second: some marketing and communication. Get the flock to the butcher's place

- Third: make them laugh, then cry and scream. The meat is better when saturated with adrenaline.

- Fourth: add some condiments. I have a preference for some fine tasting viruses. But a meteorite will do, also.

- Five: the climax. Ambiance is of utmost importance for a great feast. Tsunami, earthquake, eruption, nuclear accident, storms.

- Six: Eat quickly while it's hot. My offspring never miss that!

- Seven: for the dessert, always let some victims run and harm them non lethaly. Can add some sugar as the fear and adrenaline can alter the taste bitterly.

Does this remember you of some event ? I love to keep some pictures and videos of family fests! Google links and cache are full of them!

Next recipe: a more intimate dinner for two. Before breeding a new stock of Youths!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Some Cooking

Woa! Feeble humans! You are at last mixing your DNA with animals' ?

Great news!

Seems you are a bit late, though... I should invite some of you for dinner one of these days. My kitchen would upset you!

Still hesitating, huh ?

We, the Great Ol'Ones, did this for long eaons, though... Picking some molecule chains and mixing with others.
Never wondered why your DNA is so common with ape's, swine's, or even fish's ?

Silly you are.

You're just discovering you have your hated enemy's genes, those poor Neanderthals you hunted and ate so mercilessly (losing your body hair in the process, voracious you were), mingled with your so precious ones...

And it's just a matter of time you find with what creatures (or, surprise! plants or fungi) your chromosomes were mixed with.

Your so called bio genius and engineering have nothing to show Us, silly beasts!

Next plague will be a mutated mildew you thought would attack only those primitive vegetables you grow and eat.

Just tested it yesterday evening with some unexpected guests. They will be a fine decoration in my cozy entrance. I ever was fond of bonsai, especially when they're animated by remains of their former life.

That will change them and you of your fast food!

Saturday, July 16, 2011


You'd never believe it, you feeble humans, that We, Great Ol'Ones, would take holidays ?
Well, yes We do, sort of.

All my Youths are gone to do camping in the woods, at the beach. Let Them have some fun, plenty of fresh meat on the coast these days.

Meantime, I'm alone in My old dwelling, enjoying the silence, the calm, and doing My home cleaning without fearing some of Them would ruin all My efforts by stepping with muddy feet.

During the afternoon, I watch the TV, commenting the events and the show with My favorite lovers, by SMS. Question of the day: which will fall first, the American Economy or the Murdock empire ? I'm sure Nyarly will push one of the two, just to win the bet.

Hey, feeble humans, did you think We're stuck with archaic grimoires and ceremonies in the woods for our leisures ? We know how to appreciate and use your so called "modern" technologies, when We find a point for it. And remember you're currently reading My blog, silly!

Summer night is for parties, just as for you.

Yesterday I snatched some youngs camping in My garden (they called it a haunted wood... A wood!). They are now haunting My cellar, girls heads still hooked to the boys genitals. Limbs of both genders will do a cozy decoration at the roof, when the worms will have done their job.

For tonight I don't know yet, maybe some beach games with teenagers camping in the vicinity, humans and star spawns from the nearby submarine suburbs.
Or maybe I'll replace one of the so called "horrors" showing in the local fest. If I choose this one, stay tuned about news of some more attractions gone to madness!

I love this season.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Summer Solstice

At last, Sun is on Her descending path... This season will be hot! Autumn will be Bloody!

Just came back from some holidays in Fukushima, Japan. Forests will grow quickly there. Spring is the best time to Seed!
Feeble humans fear the Ocean and Dagon's Wrath. They don't suspect What is lurking in their back while they are watching on the coast!
I made interesting encounters while swimming near the fault. Ocean life can be tremendous when Evolution is helped by some radiations...
Interbred Myself and some of My Youths with these nuclear marine novelties and brought back the products to brood under earth. Once fully growth, dummy ecologists won't praise the Forest anymore!
Youth clad in black scales! No armor nor weapon would avail against these!

Now back in Europe for the Festivals season. Those silly new age dumbass don't know how near the Truth they are when expecting the end of their world...
Some My Youths played with germinated seeds, too, while I was away. Just a kids game for now. Now is the right season to grow and harvest.
Five fruits and vegetable a day ? And bloody diarrhea for the night!
Bonfires and Hydromel for the survivors!
Let there be music, songs, and prayers! Many of these wannabe Pagans don't even know the real meaning of their ceremonies... They will find out soon... Too soon for their Sanity!

Music and gardening, and bucolic fest until the Sun rises on a devastated landscape. That is Poetry!

Will write a cook book, one of these days, to teach feeble humans how to savor My garden products.
Now I'm off, need to negociate some EU grant for My new agro company... It was an idea of my lover Nyarly: make them pay for their demise!
His humor will always make Me melt!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Hey! WTF ?!?

Madness is Our Realm! We, The Great Old Ones, are the Only Ones to yield this WMD!

But, what's this shit ? What about this froggy wreaking havoc Our media plan ?

I can assure you it's not an Avatar of Nyarlathotep!
It's not one of My Thousand Youths!
It's not even one of Our minions, escaped from Our vaults nor of one of your sanitariums!

Who is he ?

Just a froggy who tried to climb too high for his guts!

This looser is called DSK in his own country. History will recall less than three letters from his name...

Finance wonderfully leads to madness... This lamer may have too much read the hidden grimoire nECONOMICon...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Squid in space

Squid go into space – for the sake of humanity


Poor Humans! They need a multibillion scrap heap to send a poulp into space!

Don't worry, feeble Humans, other babies with real wings will shortly come down for you from outter space!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Last time before I leave you!

Shudde M'ell! For the last time, PLEASE STOP FARTING IN BED!

These holidays in Spain should have been a dream and you made it a nightmare!

You silly tunnel digger!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

They got him, finally!

Coming back a week too late, We had some cleaning to do on the east cost of Japan. What a party it was, there!

And now learning these christian fanatics finally got this muslim fanatic nemesis wanabe moron, this Ben Laden.

Reminds Me of another Yemenite dumbass, trying to make much advertisement writing about things he couldn't even begin to understand, poor human... And surely expecting to rip some royalties from it.
As boonty, he got only ripped by one of our inferior demons. We didn't even bother to act Ourselves!

I know the OBL's videos will stay for a while, just as the Al Hazred book stand centuries of well deserved autodafés.

Let this be a fair warning for those who pretend to be famous by world destruction: you all finish in the trash bin of History, you silly wannabe Nemesis.
If you want to wreck the Universe havoc, don't announce it on the net, just do it!

Good bye, mujahideen, hope your thousand virgins will pell your dried balls to the blood!

(Sorry to be rude, but We, Real Bad Great Old Ones, don't stand competition from so filthy motherfuckers)

Now going take some rest and fun. Our new Club Med in Tripoli is awesome! This colonel is the kind of mad arabs I love the more!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Stars shifting ?

Are the Stars Right for you ?

It doesn't really matters for you, feeble humans!
For Us They are on Their way to be Right!

Errr... What is this noise ?
Unrest in North Africa ? Not far from Egypt ?
Sorry, I must go at once. Seems the Time has come to join My former husband Nyarly in His favourite area!

You'll ear more news of Us soon without bothering reading this blog for a Time!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Good Score!

This past year was tremendous for Us!
Earth Quakes, Floods, Vulcanoes... They even killed more than the humans' petty wars!
Death toll caused by "natural" disasters was at its peak since 30 years.

Special prize for the Cthonians, Iää! Shudde M'ell! A'gnl ftagn hoopfnl nagl f'agn! Iää!

This year, the local star will be right: Maunder Minimum
At least, Ithaqua's winds will make you regret your petty global warming...

But more surprises will surely come! We're working on It!

Horrible New Year, feeble humans!